Suzie’s House 29: Guilting the Lilly

 Suzie leaned forward, her elbows resting on the top of her desk and her face resting in her hands.  She heaved a sigh.

Everything she had done today she had done poorly.  Making mistakes didn’t really bother her.  Not that much, anyway.  But dishonorable mistakes haunted Suzie with guilt and regret.  Today she’d made a ton of them.

Taking the recipe file from Miranda might qualify.  But Suzie wasn’t about to remove it from the locked drawer in her desk until she could be sure Miranda wouldn’t set the whole thing on fire, let alone splatter batter all over individual cards, or simply lose them.  She still recalled the time nearly twenty years ago when she found her recipe file floating in the toilet.  Miranda never did explain how it happened.

She seemed to have turned over a new leaf where cooking was concerned.  Still, Suzie wasn’t about to risk it.  Besides, there was a certain cake recipe….  If Miranda saw the picture Suzie would never hear the end of it.

No, the recipe file wouldn’t be going back into the kitchen anytime soon.  Still, Suzie could have been a bit more helpful when she first came home, at least showing Miranda where to find the pre-made spaghetti sauce, rather than simply waving at the spice rack.

Had it not been for her encounter with Mrs. D things would have gone much better this evening, not that Suzie could excuse her own behavior.

Mrs. D was going to be a problem, especially after their argument this afternoon.  She was the kind of teacher who took her frustrations out on her students, which meant the disagreements between her and Ben were probably going to get worse now.  Suzie had all but called her incompetent.

Suzie rubbed her tired eyes and groaned.

Tomorrow she would set up an appointment with the principal and see if she could get Ben transferred to another English teacher.  She hoped the things she said today wouldn’t undermine her position then.  Bad enough to have her dear former husband literally step into the middle of the argument and whisk Ben away. 

What was he doing there in the first place?

Suzie straightened in her hardwood seat.  She picked up a bill from the stack in front of her and moved it to the part of the desk she’d been leaning against.

She missed Ben.  He was supposed to spend the night with her tonight because it was a school night.  He wasn’t supposed to be at her Rob’s apartment until the weekend.  Suzie got the feeling Ben would be home now if she hadn’t had the argument.

The school must have called Rob.  So it WAS her fault Ben wasn’t home now.  The thing was, Suzie couldn’t be sure Rob would be careful enough.  He didn’t know about the red-haired man.  He didn’t know Ben was in danger.  Suzie didn’t dare tell him because he would use it as an excuse to overturn the judge’s disposition of custody.

She couldn’t face the bills.  She returned the one in front of her to the pile then shoved the pile away.  She got out of her chair and turned, intending to go check on Vin in the living room.

Drew stood right behind her.  She nearly ran into him.  He put his hands out to steady her, catching her on the upper arms.  They felt warm and solid.

“Are you all right?”  He asked quietly.

“Yes.  Yes, of course I am.”

“You were groaning.  Something on your mind?”

How did he always know?  She looked into his deep, brown eyes, so filled with compassion and concern, and maybe something a little more selfish than either.  He held her arms gently, his thumbs rubbing back and forth.

Here was someone she could really talk to.  Drew would not judge her too harshly the way Rob would, but wouldn’t be flip about her concerns the way Miranda or Vin might.  Here was someone who cared, but who was not personally involved, who could give her a better idea of how badly she had messed up.

Suzie drew a deep breath.

“I think I made a mistake today.  I’m afraid I may have done something that will make Ben’s life harder.”

Drew glanced around.  His gaze fixed on the antique love seat Suzie had inherited from her aunt.  She’d placed it at the back wall in her little office as much to get it out from under foot as to give it a true home.  Drew guided her too it, gesturing her to sit as he himself settled on the crushed-velvet cushions.

“Tell me all about it.”

Suzie sat next to him.  She let him take her hand and even managed something of a smile.  “Thank you.  I think I will.”

The previous was Suzie’s House 28: Hey Babe

This is Suzie’s House 29: Guilting the Lilly

Next is Suzie’s House 30: The Confessional