By George! She's Been Abandoned.

Just when Princess Charlotte needed her mother’s backing the most, Princess Caroline threw in the towel. She was more than willing to allow Charlotte and any heirs to Charlotte lose their place in the British monarchy just to get away from Prince George. What is a princess to do?

The first week of August 1814, Princess Caroline boarded the frigate H.M.S. Jason with as motley an assortment of flunkies, hangers-on and servants as had ever set foot on one of His Majesties ships. Among them was a twenty five year old doctor, Henry Holland, whose favorite prescription was “a frequent half-hour of good conversation.” One observer noted that the good doctor was “unfit to attend to a sick cat.”

The Prince Regent was delighted. The more friends of his wife that left the country with her, the better. They would help her burn through her money in record time. And when she came begging for more, and he didn’t doubt for a moment that she would, oh boy! The pleasure he would get in telling her to go to hell! But before we can follow Caroline into her self-imposed exile, a few words on Charlotte.

For the first five months, Charlotte’s confinement was as strict as dad could make it. Charlotte showed unmistakable signs of depression. Sleeplessness, Loss of interest in things she previously enjoyed, bursting into crying jags for no apparent reason. Of course, it was hard to tell if she had lost interest in things she had previously enjoyed since dad didn’t let her do any of those things.

Early in the sixth month, things changed very much for the better. Princess Charlotte and her father sat down and had a real heart to heart. Yes, Charlotte admitted, her behavior had been foolish, rebellious and silly. Yes, she had associated with some unsuitable fellows, but she hadn’t done THAT! And, as Charlotte thought on it, she had come to one firm conclusion. It was all mom’s fault.

Mom encouraged her to be rebellious. Mom practically locked her in the room with Prince Augustus! What shocking behavior for a mother. And that night a Warwick House? Yes, she had behaved impetuously to have run away like that, but it was mom who insisted on dragging it out. Encouraging her with false hopes. What a terrible, awful mother she was. And yes, getting married would be a good thing. She could see that now.

Dad was overjoyed!

I imagine the conversation went something like this.

Dad: Are you aware that the King and Queen of Holland have accepted your demand to remain in England after you are married? Isn’t that wonderful? Now you and the Prince can…

Charlotte: Arrrrrrgh!

Dad: What in heaven’s name is wrong now? You did not wish to leave the country, Correct? Well, your wish has been granted! And that was damned noble of them if you don’t mind my saying so. Now, about your silver pattern…

Charlotte: Dad, you don’t understand. I won’t do it.

Dad: Why not? How can you possibly object now?

Charlotte: I know you are going to reject everything I say, but would you please, please let me say these things? Just this once?

Dad: Very well. We are having a meeting of minds here. I don’t wish to ruin that. Please go on.

Charlotte: He’s ugly.

Dad: I admit he is rather startling when one first meets him, but how do you think HE feels about that? I am very surprised that you could be so superficial.

Charlotte: He’s stupid.

Dad: It is no secret that his marks at school could have been better; but, dash it all Charlotte, his only purpose in life is to one day be King of Holland! How much grey matter does that require? You need to look at these things realistically.

Charlotte: He’s a drunkard.

Dad: Yes, there is that. I’ll admit that being with him in public will be somewhat problematic as long as he can get his hands on a bottle. But that is where a loving wife’s firm hand comes in. You will have to be resolute,perhaps even a bit harsh. But I know you, Charlotte. You should be able to do that with very little fuss.

Charlotte: He can’t dance. Dad,how am I supposed to attend State Balls with a husband who looks, thinks and acts like a drunken chimpanzee? Do you really want that sort of…person to be the Prince Consort of the Queen of England? You are the one who needs to think realistically about this.

Dad: You needn’t be snide Charlotte. Remember, I am your father.

Charlotte: I won’t do it. And, when all is said and done..father..you can’t make me.

Dad: (sigh)

One historian wrote; “The Regent still considered that Prince William would prove a highly suitable husband. He believed that she had been prejudiced against him by Lady Jersey and Brougham, by the Duchess of Oldenburg and Whitbread, and that he was far from the wastrel that they said he was. To be sure, he drank rather a lot, but that was understandable in his present distress. It was not an incurable fault. The British Minister to The Hague had always entertained a good opinion of him.”

Dad tried to enlist Miss Elphinstone to work on Charlotte. Drop little hints at tea time. Make little suggestions during the course of seeing to the prisoners comfort. She refused. “ I at once declined, stating that it was a subject so disagreeable to the Princess that I dare not venture to touch upon it.” Word soon reached Charlotte that dad was still at it.

“Pardon me if I say that information greatly pained me. There is no act of obedience, no sacrifice you could wish me to make that I am not ready for, if it is necessary to prove my sense of duty. But where the future (and I may add) the whole happiness of my life is concerned…I think I cannot be too plain in humbly stating my strong and fixed aversion to a match with a man for whom I can never feel those sentiments of regard which surely are so necessary in the matrimonial connection.”

Gad! She was as long winded as her father, but at least she had a point.

Dad wrote back that perhaps she had misunderstood him. That was it, he had not made himself clear as to what he expected of her. How terribly thoughtless of him. He would take this opportunity to clear everything up. He expected her to marry the Prince of Orange. It was good for the country. It was necessary for the security of the throne and she should stop being a silly girl and think of others for a change.

She wrote back saying she was willing to remain a prisoner until hell froze over. He could take everything away, she didn’t care. A life squirreled away in Cranbourne Lodge was infinitely preferable to one married to a drunken, stupid lout who couldn’t dance. Bring it on, dad.

The Prince blinked.