Suzie’s House 524 : Clean and Clear

“Well? Well?! What do your think?” Drew could hardly contain himself as he put the last glass down among a forest of glasses on the kitchen table.

In the course of half an hour he’d swallowed a dozen different concoctions. He’d done some weird yoga things too and some other stuff that Sonoma said would set him off if he wasn’t a hundred percent yet.

If he’d had a melt down, he’d totally missed it. He’d been watching the clock, too. Unlike so many times in the past year, there weren’t any big gaps.

More than anything he wanted Sonoma’s seal of approval. He wanted to be told he would never again suffer the effects of China Black. Never again would he have to doubt his ability to drive across town. Never again would he have to second guess everything he thought and did.

He wanted to be exactly like he was before the FBI had sent him out to New Mexico for a case he should never have had anything to do with.

The grin he couldn’t keep off his face gave him away. He already knew what he thought. But since he’d learned to hard way to never trust what he thought, he still needed the outside verification. He hoped the pleading in his eye wouldn’t set Sonoma off.

From the narrowed eyes and wrinkled, pursed lips he suspected he’d already triggered one of her lectures.

“I could tell you that your are now one hundred percent cured. But I’d be lying. There’s no such thing as one hundred percent cured.”

The smile melted along with Drew’s rising hopes.

“Don’t deny your own experiences,” Trent said from a chair by the back door. He’d stayed tucked away to the side all morning. “

“I’d appreciate it if you would refrain from reading my mind,” Drew growled.

“You’ve said it often enough. You want to be what your used to be. That aint ever going to happen.” Trent leaned forward with his hands steepled before his lips and elbows on his knees.

“Trent’s right. I can’t make you forget what it feels like to be on drugs. Any drugs. All I can do is clean out your system the best I can. I can promise you, the only thing left now is your own mind.”

“Be straight with me. Will I or will I not be safe behind the steering wheel?”

“It depends on you.” Sonoma leaned into the table on her knuckles. “The mind is a wild place. Once it knows how to get somewhere, it can go there on it’s own with no help from drugs.”

“Gah!” Drew brought a fist down on a clear spot among the glasses. “Are you telling me I’ll never be clean?!”

“Not at all. You’re clean now. Completely, totally clean. You will never again be turned into a statue by random chemicals in your brain.” She smiled tightly.

“But you could be turned into a statue by your own mind.” Trent stomped all over Drew’s hope, then blew hot air into it. “Which just means you have to keep an eye on your mind. When it starts to melt down, just remember – it’s all just in your head. You’ve got no excuses left. If the walls start to melt, make yourself stop.”

“That should be no problem for you now.” Sonoma nodded vigorously. “Half of what we’ve been doing the last couple of weeks was teaching you how to do that.”

“So… I AM cured?”

“Yep.” Sonoma grinned.

“Yep. Much as can be,” Trent agreed. “But you are also a whole new Drew. You went forward, not back. Don’t try to pretend it never happened. You’re a new man now. Make of it what you will.”

“And if you start to feel like you’re on China Black, don’t panic. You can make yourself stop just by thinking about it. It’s all on you now.”

“Good.” Drew nodded decisively as he stood up. “Then I’m going to go help Vin with his case now. It’s time I got back to what I am best at.”

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