By George! Just Who Is This Grand Duchess?

Just how much of a fat slob could George IV be, now that he is Regent? – Alice

If the Prince was put out by the behavior of his socially inferior chums, it was nothing compared to what he experienced at the hands of his equals. And at a time when he should have been enjoying wide acclaim. The year was 1814, Napoleon had been defeated and packed off to Elba. British arms, and gold, had proved decisive in the victory.

Why shouldn’t the Prince Regent enjoy a bit of reflected glory? After all, people still loved dad even after he lost America. Unfortunately for Prinny,

there was no love between himself and the people to be lost. While the Prince escorted the decidedly un-heroic figure of King Louis XVIII into London to celebrate the restoration of the Bourbon dynasty, few cheered. As far as the unwashed masses were concerned, these two bloated, self-important popinjays had less to do with Napoleon’s defeat than the lowliest bootblack in London.

But wither people liked it or not, the Prince Regent was just that, the Prince Regent. He was the next best thing to a king anyone could come up with. And… great victories had been won. The had to be celebrated. This, at least, was something people could expect him to get right. And he did, by and large. Until one unfortunate incident that virtually no one paid attention to when it happened.

Indeed, no one realized that something bad had happened until long after it had happened. Double indeed, no one would have given a second thought to the thing they had not realized had happened had not the news of what had happened not happened to have come to the attention of the Tsar of Russia, Alexander I. Wither he knew it or not, and he didn’t, this was bad news for the Prince Regent.

While the gouty bulk of King Louis was being escorted around London, speeches were made. This was only to be expected. Lots of palaver about brave soldiers, brilliant generals and all the rest. Nothing exceptional. At one point, Louis was quoted as saying; “It is to the counsels of Your Royal Highness, to this glorious country, and to the steadfastness of it’s inhabitants, that I attribute, after the will of Providence, the re-establishment of my House upon the throne of my ancestors.”

Considering the Louis had spent his exile in some comfort at a country estate in Buckinghamshire, it should not be controversial that he would say nice things about his English friends. And it wasn’t controversial as far as the English were concerned. But Tsar Alexander could not help but note the the new King of France didn’t say doodly-squat about the Russian contribution to allied victory.

A small matter, to be sure. Among the diplomats, such a slight went unnoticed. But Alexander paid attention. One of the reasons he did so was that he had been receiving a steady stream of poisonous reports about Prinny, whom he suspected of encouraging Louis to slight Russia publicly. The writer of these reports was the recently widowed Grand Duchess of Oldenburg. Her name was Catherine. Said one historian; “The Grand Duchess, an ugly, vivacious, clever, mischievous and self-important little woman, had arrived at the end of March and had been installed in the Pulteney Hotel in Piccadilly, which had been taken over for her by the Russian ambassador at the cost of 210 guineas a week. The Regent had arrived to welcome her to England before she had had time to change out of her traveling clothes; they met on the staircase had taken an instant dislike to each other.”

A minor social gaff that the Prince probably put out of his mind almost as soon as it happened. The Duchess didn’t forget though. And Grand Duchess Catherine was Alexanders sister. She immediately set about becoming a thorn in the Prince Regents ample side. She met with prominent Whigs, trash talked the Prince to any number of people who were delighted to listen, and publicly announced that she was going to visit with the Princess of Wales.

To the Prince, this was tantamount to the Grand Duchess drowning a basketful of cute puppies and leaving them on his front lawn. So politically sensitive had the issue of the Princess become that the Russian ambassador had to threaten to resign to get her to back off such a provocative move. She did. Sorta. With Princess Caroline off limits, the Grand Duchess managed to cadge some quality time with Princess Charlotte. The topic of conversation apparently was daddy. They were at it for several hours.

I say apparently, because shortly after this, during an official dinner at Carlton House, The Duchess complained that the Prince’s choice of musical accompaniment for dinner had completely put her off her feedbag. The Prince tried to gloss over this remark by stating that he hoped that such a charming woman as the Duchess would not be in widows weeds for too much longer.

The Duchess “answered by an astonished silence and looks full of haughtiness.” She then proceeded to read His Highness the Riot Act over the way he treated his long suffering daughter. To which the Prince replied, “When she is married, Madam, she will do as her husband pleases. For the present, she does as I please.”

To which the Duchess replied, with a wicked smile, “Your Highness is right. Between wife and husband there can be only one will.” Point and Match, Duchess of Oldenburg!

The Prince turned to the wife of the Russian ambassador and whispered, “This is intolerable.” That thought would return to him again with a vengeance after he met the Duchess’s brother.

– Mr. Al