Suzie’s House 447 : Get on Your Hands and Knees, Ethan

“You love me?” Sophie stared at her husband in stunned surprise. Even when he knew she’d tricked him into marriage? He’d known it all along?

All these years she’d turned herself into a doormat just so he wouldn’t leave her for his high school sweetheart. All for nothing.

“You jerk!” She lunged from the recliner in one swift lurch. She looked to either side for a handy pillow, but all the pillows were on the couch where he sat. In frustration, she threw the newspaper in her hand at him. It fluttered impotently through the air, barely even reaching him. “Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“When?” Ethan shrugged. “What would I say? ‘I knew you lied, but you’re so cute I couldn’t resist you?’ This is hardly the first time I’ve told you I love you.”

Did he have to be so stupidly realistic about it? But the rage only built inside her.

“Do you have any idea what it was like for me?”

“I… I thought you loved me, too.” He looked at her with those placid, kicked-puppy eyes that always got to her. She really didn’t know how to handle them.

“I did! I… but you left without warning and you didn’t bother to call for so long.”

“Yeah. I should have broken down and gotten a cell phone. I didn’t know how hard it would be to call. And I had a lot on my mind with James. He’s so much like my brother….”

“So it’s your fault he turned out like that.” She didn’t mean to say it out loud. Before he went away, she never would have. “Sorry. that was selfish of me.” She put a hand over her mouth. Her relaxing morning was turning out to be anything but.

“No. No, you’re probably right. Alcoholism is rampant in my family. Not in yours.” He looked away slowly enough that she could see the tremble at the corner of his down-turned mouth.

His obvious pain made her feel guilty. She was getting dragged into his pace, but she couldn’t help herself. She joined him on the couch.

“I understand where you are coming from. I do.” She gathered his hand in hers. “But do you have any idea where I am coming from?”

“I do!” He looked irate. As if even suggestion he didn’t know something was offensive.

She recognized that tactic. For so many years he’d twisted her around his finger with that attitude. She’d try to assuage him and the next thing she knew she’d be pretending to be June Cleaver.

“Then why aren’t you on your hands and knees washing the kitchen floor like you had me doing for all those years!” She shoved his hands away from her. “And don’t you dare tell me it wouldn’t be tasteful! To H*ll with tasteful!” She surged to her feet.

“Oh.” He stared up at her, blinking like a baby owl. “You… you want me to… mop?” He said ‘mop’ as if it were a dirty word.

“That is the least you could do. Should do! Do you think I WANTED to spend my whole life a nothing more than a housewife? I never once thought that was my life’s calling.”

“Oh.” Eyes wide, he clearly had never considered any other possibility.

“Since you don’t have a job, why don’t YOU try it? And while you at it, you should never ever raise your voice to me. Nor should you make any decision about the kids without my input. And do not ever rearrange the furniture until I tell you to.”

“That’s ridicules!”

“And yet that’s what you made me do for twenty years. Twenty years I twisted myself around to make you happy. You know what the worst part is? In all that time I don’t think I ever once succeeded.” She picked up the newspaper. Lord knew no one else in this house would do it.

“No! I HAVE been happy. You are the only reason my life was any good. When I think about what it was like growing up… If it weren’t for you, I’m sure I’d have ended up just like everyone else in my family – dead, drunk, or both.

“Yeah. That’s true.” She carried the newspaper to the recliner and sat down. When she thought about the genteel decay of his family’s home, the air of fatigue, restraint, and regret…. She’d wanted to save him from that. Maybe she’d succeeded.

He looked surprised at her easy agreement.

“Maybe I did save you. But I did it at a price I didn’t know I’d have to pay.”

“What… what can I do? How can I show you how much I love you?” Again with the puppy eyes.

Sophie carefully lifted the newspaper so she could steel her heart. “Get a mop.”

He huffed from the living room – not quite stomping, but hardly quiet bout it. She refused to look. A minute later she heard the clatter of a bucket and water running.

“Well. Will wonders never cease?”

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