Suzie’s House 382 : Emmy, Get Out of Your Head

Emma tried not to think of anything too malignant while riding home with her brother. The drive would only take a few minutes, but she was sure he’d manage to say something nasty before they reached the house.

The crucial thing was to look normal. Or as normal as she ever did, anyway. No sighs of yearning for the wonderful household in which she’d spent three glorious days. No fearful glances, though she knew he’d do something at some point.

Still, she couldn’t help imagining what life would be like if her brother had never been born. She could have had all of their parent’s attention to herself. She would probably have a lot more self confidence. She could see it now. She’d be a singer who didn’t have to wear a bag over her head at practices or a mask on stage.

She imagined herself a gogo boot wearing, time traveling heroine going to a moment before he’d been conceived and giving her mother contraceptives and dire warnings of the dangers to the world at large if her brother was allowed to come into existence.

“Hey, Emmy.” He smacked her on the back of the head when they stopped at a light. It was a light hit because the headrest and seat blocked him, but she still swayed forward. “Get out of your head.”

“What?”

“You’re day dreaming again. I got some questions and you better have the answers.”

Emma cringed into the passenger door where it would be harder for him to reach her.

“You crawled out your window, didn’t you? Why’d you do that?”

There was no way to answer that without getting hurt, so she didn’t say anything. She might have been looking resentfully at him, though.

He glanced at her but the light turned green so he didn’t do anything.

“You don’t have to be scared of me. We are brother and sister, you know.”

“That doesn’t keep you from hitting me,” she muttered. As if it would make any difference to explain herself to him.

“What? That just now? That didn’t count.”

Emma started shaking. When he said something didn’t count, it generally meant he was going to do it again, only harder. She wanted to be somewhere else. Anywhere else.

“You hate me, don’t you?” He said it like he didn’t care.

Another question she couldn’t answer. If she lied and said no, he’d hit her for lying. If she said she did hate him, he’d hit her for hating him. It never seemed to get through to him that this was why she hated him.

“I wasn’t going to do anything. I just wanted to talk. I’m getting real tired of the way you’re always running away.”

“W-w-why c-c-ant you j-just leave me alone? Wh-what did I ever do?” She felt like throwing up.

They pulled into the driveway. He leaned over the steering wheel and looked at her sideways. “Don’t you know? You were born. The world is mine. Everything in it is suppose to be mine. You’re the only exception. And that is wrong.”

Emma had started feeling for the door latch as soon as she saw where they were. Before he could do anything, she had the latch free and ran to the house. He didn’t bother to follow. In fact, he pulled out and drove away before their parents could say anything about loaning the car to him.

“M-m-mom,” Emma said as soon as she’d entered the house. “You, you said when he turned eighteen he had… had… had to move out. Right? Do… do I have to wait that long? Can I go n-n-now? I… I can get my own place. All you have to do is never ever tell him where it is. Okay? Just let me go. I promise I’ll never bother you for, for anything again. Just let me move out now.”

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