Suzie’s House 362 : Fine, Just Fine

As Trent drove off, everyone else on the porch went back in the house, but Drew needed a minute or two, so he sat on the porch swing and stared at his tips of his shoes. It felt like someone took his life vest just as he was about to head into the worst rapids on a rafting trip.

His vision blurred a bit. He tried to focus, and sudsy white waves appeared to wash over the top of his shoes. Great. All the stress must have triggered another melt down. Maybe if he sat here people would assume he was just lost in thought instead of completely divorced from reality.

The front door opened, and a hand pushed on the screen. For a minute Drew thought it would be Suzie. Instead, Ben came and joined him on the bench swing. The white water loomed higher.

“Nobody tells me anything,” Ben griped. “It isn’t because I’m a writer, is it?”

“I doubt it.” Drew wasn’t sure he should point out that Ben still looked like a kid to the older generations.

“I hardly ever put people I know in my stories anyway. But I guess that sort of thing could make people uncomfortable.”

“Have you ever put….” Drew stopped himself. He didn’t want to know.

“Well, even if it’s not that, there’s something keeping people from talking to me. I know because there’s something going on with you but no one will tell me what.” Ben gave him a piercing look.

The sharp-eyed expression probably should have made Drew incredibly uncomfortable. Especially since white crested waves of the Japanese painting style washed over the kids head in fits and starts. But instead, Drew found himself merely detached. He even smiled a little.

“I suppose you deserve and explanation.”

“I’d like one.” Ben lifted his chin a little.

Drew had to fight off the urge to muss the kid’s hair.

“You know I was working undercover in New Mexico, right?”

“Yeah. And something went wrong and you walked away.”

“Yeah. I never thought I’d see the day…. Well, anything can happen when you get hooked on drugs.”

“You?!” Ben’s eyes went saucer-wide. “No way!”

“The case I was working on involved a designer drug. In order to get an informant to talk, I had to take it. He even made sure I didn’t fake it; I had to do it for real. It only took once to get hooked. It was a totally experimental drug. They couldn’t even trace it in my blood. Even months after I quit taking it, my brain chemistry was messed up.”

“But you’re all right now, though. Right? I mean, you… you’re still you. Right?”

“Right.” Drew reached through the frothing waves to muss Ben’s hair. “I’m still me. And you’re still my favorite kid.”

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