Suzie’s House 357: Absurd Developments

Content Warning. Not quite bad enough to put on the newsletter, but Ana better not read this while eating breakfast.

Ben followed the others in the back door and through the house with the intention of taking mental notes for future writing. How often did a guy get to see a dead body? Assuming Gene really did kill his dad when he beat him up.

Had the place always been this bad? He remembered coming here back in sixth grade. It was messy then, but not like this. Beer cans and liquor bottles mixed with pizza boxes and fast food bags everywhere he looked. Something or another crunched underfoot with every step.

“Gah! The smell is awful!” Lisa covered her nose and mouth with her hand.

They assembled in front of the same ragged, old couch that Ben remembered from three years ago. He was pretty sure the ‘old man’, as Gene always called him, had gotten even fatter.

“He’s dead.” Gene looked down at his father’s body. “He hasn’t moved an inch since I left.”

“Oh my God.” Tracy bumped up against his side. He didn’t seem to notice.

Lisa bumped into Ben. He gave her a quick, one-armed squeeze. She didn’t stay long; which was good because he didn’t want to miss anything.

“Is that smell coming from him?” Lisa talked through her hand.

“It’s pretty bad,” Ben agreed.

“God, I killed him. I knew it. I killed him.” Gene grabbed his head on either side and scrunched his eyes closed.

“We’ve got to hide the body.” Tracie’s eyes went wide like a deer about to bound away.

“No.” Lisa’s chin came up. “We should call and ambulance. Or maybe the police.”

“What? So Gene will have to go to jail for killing the morbidus old bastard?!” Tracy glared at her cousin.

“You mean murderous?”

“Gah! This is no time to mincemeat words! We have to get rid of this thing now.” She kicked the old man’s shoe covered foot.

For a minute Ben thought he heard a weak groan. But outside of a little jiggling, Gene’s father didn’t do anything.

“Move him where?” Gene looked at Tracy.

“We’ll bury him in the back yard.” Tracy grabbed the foot she’d kicked. “He’s heavy. Help me.”

Gene took one shoulder while Ben grabbed the other. That left Lisa staring at a foot. She went, ‘tsk’, but she took up the foot, and they all struggled with the body.

“Shouldn’t he be stiff as a board or something? Rigging Mortise or something. Right?”

“Rigor mortise,” Lisa corrected. “It doesn’t last forever. He must have had it already and it’s gone away. It’s been more than a day, right?”

“He weighs a ton!” Tracy gave a particularly hard yank.

Mr. Thomas’s shoe came off in her hand. Tracy went flying backwards, and then landed on her butt.

“Pewh!” Lisa dropped her foot to cover her nose. “What? Is he rotting from the foot up?”

Ben and Gene both lost their grips on the body. The old man slid to the floor then unleashed a long, loud fart.

“Ew!”

“Oh! That’s awful.”

“Pewh!” Ben waves his hand in front of his face.

“Dad?” Gene stared down at his father with a look of horror.

The old man sat up and belched.

Lisa and Tracy both screeched with eyes wide and mouths open. Lisa stumbled into a coffee table buried under garbage. Tracy scrambled to her feet. Gene turned a kind of sick gray.

“Go away.” Gene’s father added a long line of curse words to go with his glare.

Gene was the first out the door with Lisa and Tracy right behind him. Ben was the farthest from the door by then, so he was the last out. He got to the kitchen as the others went out the back door. Then something made him stop and go back. He hovered in the door, half inclined to cut and run and half frozen.

“What do you want, kid?” Gene’s dad squinted at Ben.

“What do you intend to do about Gene hitting you? I mean, about the police?”

“Humph! It was just an argument. No need to tell anyone. ‘Sides. It isn’t like anyone will listen to the ravings of an old drunkard like me.”

“Great. Thanks!” Ben hurried after the others with a skip and a smile. Everything would be fine now.

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