Suzie’s House 356 : How to Deal with a Guilty Conscience

“Do you think Gene meant it when he said he killed his father?” Kate leaned toward Justin as the two of them left the practice room and glanced over her shoulder at Gene. The two of them looked totally conspiratorial as Justin glared over his shoulder like he was morally superior or something.

Gene tried not to groan, but couldn’t help closing his eyes for a minute. He sat on a drummer’s stool while everyone but Tracy left.

“Great. Just great,” Tracy said. “You know what a big mouth Kate has. She’ll probably spread it all over town. Good thing school is out or you’d really be in trouble. Hey, you all right? You’re hue isn’t so good.”

Tracy put her hand on Gene’s shoulder. It felt like she was trying to hold him down or trying to be a parent to him or something. He shrugged her off, then felt bad because she looked hurt.

“So what really happened? Oh, hey, Lisa. You made it.” Tracy waved at Lisa and Ben, who stood in the doorway. “Come on over.”

“Something happened?” Lisa settled on the floor next to Gene.

He glanced at Tracy. She seemed to have no problem with him telling the two writers. He had to tell someone. It was driving him nuts.

“I was hanging out in the park with Bruce, and he said something. Something about the way my mom went away. He was goofing off. It’s not like he really knew. But it bugged me. He said he thought maybe my father killed my mom.”

Gene glanced around at Ben standing behind Lisa and Tracy standing half way between them and him. No one looked surprised at all.

“So… I started thinking maybe it was true. I went to see my old man, and I asked him. He was all drunk. It wasn’t even hard to get him to admit it. He really did kill my mom when I was five.”

“Oh, wow,” Ben said. “What did you do?”

“I lost it. I totally lost it.” Gene rubbed the raw spots on his knuckles. “I’m just like my father.”

It wasn’t easy for Gene to say it. So when Ben started laughing, it made him want to punch him.

“What are you laughing about? I’m serious here.”

“Gene, I know your dad. Right? I mean, I was right there with you when he came home drunk and it was my dad that conspired with him about that insane asylum thing. And I know you pretty good too. Right? Trust me. You aren’t anything alike.”

“But when he admitted he killed my mom I hit him. I mean, not just once either. I think I might have killed him.”

“It’s harder to kill someone than you think,” Lisa said.

Everyone whipped around to look at her.

“What? I did research on it.” She glanced from Ben to Gene to Tracy then got all defensive. “It’s for a book I’m writing. All right? It’s a suspense novel.”

“Oh yeah. That’s right,” Ben said with a nod. “It’s pretty good.” Like it mattered how good Lisa’s writing was at a time like this.

Gene slumped even more in his chair, covered his face, and tried not to groan. His friends just didn’t get it.

Tracy rubbed his back. She probably meant to calm him down and everything, but it just made him burn. He didn’t feel like sympathy right now. He shrugged her hand off even knowing she’d look hurt again.

“Look, there’s only one thing to do,” Ben said all reasonable. “We go to his house and check.”

Both girls nodded. Gene wanted to say no, but Ben was on to something. If he didn’t go see for himself, he’d never be comfortable again.

“All right.” He stood up. “Lets go now. I want to get it over with.”

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