T13: How to Live with a Hoarder.

Everyone in my family is hoarder. Every single one of us, including me. But enough is enough! When I can’t get through a room without bumping into something, I have to put my foot down.

1. Forgiveness. You’re going to have to forgive your hoarder for something just about every day. If it comes down to you or hoarding, you will probably be the one who has to go, even if your hoarder thinks otherwise. He or she does not recognize when he or she is doing it.

2. Paths. You might be able to get individual rooms cleared out to normal levels, but chances are that things will build up along walls and in front of furniture no matter what. A hoarder won’t see a problem with this, but will generally accept the need for a way to get from place to place.

3. Flow. This is a corollary to paths. You really learn how traffic flows through a room when you live with a hoarder. Sometimes you may have to rearrange furniture to accommodate the flow of a room. Moving a couch a few inches can make a huge difference in barked shins and bruised hips.

4. Windows. These are worth fighting for. Do not allow anything more than single boxes in thickness accumulate in front of windows. Otherwise you will not be able to open and close windows or curtains. I recommend a low book case be placed in front of windows. Then when things build up, ask your hoarder to retrieve a book for you.

5. Living things. It helps to have plants in front of windows. When things get too deep, tell your hoarder that stuff must go or the plants will die.

6. Garbage. Hoarders are convinced that most things other people throw out are valuable. The stacks of newspapers and magazines can be relabeled “recycling” and more easily removed from the house. Same for cans and bottles. It’s good for the environment anyway, and gives you an excuse to designate a single place in the house where this stuff should go. As to clippings – that’s a separate battle.

7. Hoarders can go overboard with the recycling. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell them the plant won’t accept tin, the aluminum will get mixed with other stuff. Remember to check before taking in.

8. Open spaces. You must assume any open space you make will be filled. Hoarders abhor a vacuum. A room with little or no furniture can make them twitchy. New discoveries will quickly fill it. Sometimes this can happen in the name of art, but boxes will probably still appear. Pretty soon you’re looking at a warehouse where there used to be a living room.

9. Doorways. You need more space than your hoarder thinks. Things will pile up along either side of a doorway and work further and further into a room. This, like windows, is worth fighting over. I find the quickest and easiest way to get my point across is to simply let stuff fall and leave it there when the offending hoarder is around.

10. Laundry. On the floor. This is a constant battle. I have taken to putting his dirty clothes in strange and inconvenient places if my husband won’t use his personally designated hamper. As to The Girl, she has three baskets and still can’t keep the bathroom floor clear. Threatening to go through her pockets while doing her laundry works well.

11. Yard Sales. Much like recycling, this is a great way to get a hoarder to release things. After all, it’s not going to waste. It’s being turned into money and finding a new home. Half the stuff my hoarders bring home comes from yard sales to begin with. But don’t make them help with the actual sale or things will be pulled out of customer’s hands.

12. Storage systems. These are great. Shelves, cupboards, modules, you name it. The more the better. The motto “a place for everything and everything in its place” will get completely bulldozed by a hoarder because new stuff that does not have a place will be constantly coming in. But the more places you can make for things, the less you will have to trip over.

13. Storage Units. These help tremendously with reducing the stuff in the house. Better yet, you can make your hoarder rotate objects between the house and the storage unit which keeps the décor a little more fresh and toys more interesting. This works best if the storage unit is handy. WARNING – make it a point to clear out the storage units of accumulated junk just like you do the house or you will end up renting more and more units. We are down to two now, and hoping to get squeezed into one in the not too distant future.