Suzie’s House 343 : The Accelerated Program

“We’ve had so many people who passed those computer tests down at Job Service but couldn’t do anything once we hired them. That’s why we’re going to have to ask you to show us you know how to be an accountant.” The interviewer smiled oh-so-sweetly while standing over the chair she wanted Suzie to sit in.

“Right. It’s got nothing to do with free labor.” Suzie smiled back before glancing at the open door to her right. Was there really any point in finishing this interview?

“Don’t worry. We made a copy of our system just for this computer. You won’t really be changing anything in our real books. We delete everything between interviews.”

“You have everyone do this?” That might explain the expression on the face of the person right before her.

“Of course.” The woman smiled in way that was probably meant to be friendly.

So maybe this wasn’t just a passive-aggressive attempt to get back at the friend of someone the interviewer didn’t like. Maybe there was something to this. For one thing, Suzie had been off the market for a couple of years now.

When she took the test on the computers at Job Service, she’d discovered things had changed a bit. While her knowledge base stayed the same, Quick Books upgraded.

She caught herself staring at the computer and wondering. Could she really handle this? Some rogue part of her wanted to prove herself, if not to this unpleasant woman she had no intention of working for, then to herself. Suzie sat down.

“There we go. All you have to do is key these in faster than anyone else we interview.”

“All right.” Suzie hovered over an icon, intending to go directly into the payables.

“No. You can’t go directly from one invoice screen to the next. You have to go out and back in each time.”

“What?! Why?” Going in and out of that screen was where the program had changed.

“Just do it.” The woman handed Suzie a stack of paper. “These are real invoices.”

They were shop worn with folds from having been in an envelope and coffee stains. Suzie picked up the first one. There was no header to tell what company it had originally come from. Then Suzie turned toward the screen and couldn’t even find the other way into the payables.

“You’re going to have to go a lot faster if you want to do as well as the last guy. Or any of the others, for that matter.” The woman pulled up a chair, crossed her arms, and smiled nastily.

Suzie put the top invoice to the bottom of the pile with the intention of doing it when she had a firmer grasp of how to approach it, but the interviewer put it back on top.

“Ah, ah, ah. You have to do them in order.”

Suzie didn’t try to argue. She clicked something that looked likely and ended up on the right screen through some miracle or another. She started entering the dollar amount first, since that was at least something she could find.

“Wrong! That’s one of our invoices. It’s a receivable, not a payable.” She said it as if it should have been obvious at a glance. She pointed at a little logo in to top left corner.

It was so obvious. All of it was so obvious after she’d already done it wrong. By the time she was done, Suzie had lost all confidence in herself. It had taken half an hour to do what used to take her ten minutes. And every little mistake she made brought that ugly smile to the interviewer’s face. She’d even forgotten that she didn’t really want the job anymore anyway.

Could she really do this? Could she still call herself an accountant? Suzie clomped down the stairs between the offices and the street. With her head so full of self doubt that she could hardly see the sidewalk before her, Suzie stepped out onto State Street.

She stumbled along with her eyes down and her head full of images of all her work screw ups from all her years as an accountant. She bumped the shoulder of some bum in long dreadlocks and crusty Dockers only to walk past two more bums a minute later.

The fact she could end up joining their ranks made her shrink from them, though she tried to keep herself going straight ahead. All she wanted was to get home.

There was something familiar about one of the two guys. The one on the left with gray hair sticking out all over didn’t look like anyone she’d ever known, but the other one with a haunted look in his eye kind of looked a little like Drew. But no. It couldn’t be. Drew would never let himself go so far to seed.

Besides, it wasn’t like it really mattered, was it? Drew had abandoned her months ago. She wasn’t sure what she’d do if he tried to come back now.

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