By George! How Far Will the Princess Go?

Last week Mr Al hinted that Princess Caroline went too far in her amorous attentions, acting with no awareness of her position as the future queen. Just what happened, anyway?

. .

At one time, the Douglas’s lived near the Princess at Blackheath. A home they shared with Rear Admiral Sir Sydney Smith, whom Sir John served under while fighting Bonaparte in the Middle East. The Douglas’s were frequent guests to the Princesses home until she discovered, or so she alleged that Lady Douglas was spreading naughty stories about her. One thing people close to both women agreed upon, Lady Douglas was an intensely ambitious woman who very much sought the public eye. She also thought Caroline to be a woman who had reached far beyond her station. Bloodier feuds had been started for lesser reasons.

Caroline responded in kind She was alleged to have written anonymous letters to Lady Douglas, telling her that her affair with Rear Admiral Smith was common knowledge. She allegedly followed this up with drawings of Lady Douglas and the Admiral in an “amorous situation.” Apparently, the response from Lady Douglas was not what Caroline was hoping for because she went on to send an anonymous letter to Sir John with an enclosed picture charmingly entitled “Sir Sydney Smith doing Lady Douglas, your amiable wife.”

Lady and Sir John Douglas detailed what they allegedly experienced at the hands of Princess Caroline in writing, presented this to the Prince and demanded an investigation. As the Prince was well aware, investigations of this sort could turn up all kinds of dirty laundry that many seemingly uninvolved persons might not want aired.

He sought the Prime Ministers advice on how to proceed. Now that the matter had been brought to attention, it was no longer a private matter at all. As he informed the Prince, “I do not know, sir, what your Royal Highness must do; but I know what I must do. I must lay this whole business, sir, before his majesty without the smallest delay.” Uh oh. Said Lord Thurlow, “Sir, if you were a common man, she might sleep with the devil; I should say, let her alone and hold your tongue. But the Prince of Wales has no right to risk his daughters crown or his brother’s claims…The accusations once made must be examined into.”

The matter was laid before the king. He personally wished it to go away, but he had to agree, it was a State matter. The investigation would go forward. Once the Commission of Inquiry was impaneled, they considered Lady Douglas’s “evidence” first. In written testimony to the commission, Lady Douglas alleged that upon first meeting Princess Caroline in 1801, Her Highness had made a pass at her. She said Caroline embraced her and told her what nice arms she had, that she had “the sweetest black ( very dark brown) eyes she had ever seen, and that she was a very charming woman.”
At a later visit to Monague House she had found the Princess in bed eating “an immense quantity of fried onions and potatoes and an equal amount of ale.” They talked of Lady Douglas’s approaching confinement (childbirth) The Princess told her that she had never been present at one and would like to be on hand for it. That she would bring “a bottle of port and a tambourine to keep up her friends spirits.”

The Princess further confessed that she herself was pregnant. That her habit of taking unwanted babies into her household was done so that when her own was born, she could slip it in with the rest and no one would be the wiser. She was further prepared, according to Lady Douglas, to lay the responsibility on the Prince, should it come to that. She had made a point of spending several nights a Carlton House when she found out she was pregnant for just this reason.

She was alleged to have told Lady Douglas “I have a bedfellow whenever I like. Nothing is more wholesome.” She further pointed out that her bedroom was perfectly situated for this purpose “as it stood at the head of a staircase leading directly into the park.”

Princess Caroline was, apparently, a very deep well of startling revelations. On more than one occasion she was alleged to have questioned wither Her Ladyship could really be happy with only her husband, Sir John, as a lover. Lady Douglas testified that the Princess encouraged her to “amuse herself with “the Duke of Gloucester, who would be quite amenable.” She also, allegedly, admitted to sleeping with Rear Admiral Smith, whom she found, to her delight, to be hell on wheels in the sack.

According to Lady Douglas, the Princess encouraged her to take him for a “walk in the park.” She wouldn’t be disappointed. She went on to say that she wasn’t sure if Sir Sydney was the father of her child, but she “rather suspected he was.” Sir John Douglas rather thought so himself. He testified that after a time he came to the conclusion that the Princess was visiting more to see Sir Sydney than either of them.

He said, ” After she had been for some time acquainted with us, she appeared to be with child. One day she leaned on the sofa and put her hand on her stomach and said, “Sir John, I shall never be Queen of England.” I said, “Not if you don’t deserve it.” She seemed angry…”

More witnesses were called. Most of them had stories about the amount of time Princess Caroline and Sir Sydney spent together. More importantly, how late into the night the two of them would be alone together. Several servants reported that sometimes Sir Sydney would be an overnight guest. During those times, Sir Sydney’s bed invariably would go unused. Others reported that Sir Sydney would sometimes be found foraging in the kitchen for a midnight snack or he would order a servant to fetch him a bottle of wine at three or four o clock in the morning.

The empty bottles would be found in Caroline’s room the next day. One maidservant reported that early one winters morning, she went into the Princesses room to start a fire in the fireplace, she walked in on Caroline and Sir Sydney going at it with such frenzied abandon that she fainted dead away from shock.

Damning stuff. More than enough to bring charges of adultery against Princess Caroline. There was one little point that needed attention, however. One fact that had to be considered. One thing that all the servants who testified against Caroline so far had in common. And that thing was…

– Mr. Al