Suzie’s House 420 : How Did You End Up Here, Ethan?
“How did I get where I am?” Ethan looked up and down the grassy strip separating the WalMart parking lot from the main thoroughfare. He eyed the old bum next to him. “Do you really want to know?”
Best Laid Plans of Mice and Me
I’m back!
I made a bunch of promises I couldn’t keep. I’m very sorry. First, I promised to keep visiting and commenting on your blogs. I did visit, but I was blocked from commenting over and over. More about that in a minute.
Second I promised to have a new Suzie’s House posted every Wednesday. Although I did have them written ahead, I ran into some technical glitches. If I’d had a bit more time I could have overcome the technical problems, but since I couldn’t comment anyway it seemed like a waste of effort.
Crank Call
The cards came out all wrong. No matter which way Glen loaded them into the ENIAC, they came out jumbled. No wonder the program wouldn’t run. But how to fix it?
Glen called Betty and explained.
“That’s easy. First, go to room three. Walk behind the panel on the right all the way to the back. Open the lower cupboard. Then turn the crank a quarter turn to the left.”
It worked like a charm. Next time he saw her, he said, “How do you always know?”
“I guess it takes a woman’s touch.”
“Ironic for something made by the military.”
The Hub: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Photo credit: Claire Fuller
13 Pictures of Indonesia
You probably noticed I’ve been traveling again. I went for a quick tour of Java, Bali, and Flores/Komodo. In other words, I went to Indonesia. Here are some pictures I took while there.
1.
Suzie’s House 419 : Ethan Spanging
“So how long have you been spanging?” A grizzled old man with stains on his jeans and shirt that Ethan didn’t want to think about.
“Spu… spu…. what?” Ethan didn’t know what to do with his eye. He glanced at the old man, then at the WalMart sign next to them, then at the stream of cars taking the turn out of the WalMart parking lot.
“Spanging. You know – asking for spare change. SpareChange. Spange. How long you been at it?”
Welcome on 9-6-15
Well, I’m heading off globe trotting again. I’m very, very lucky to have someone in my life who is willing to foot the bill for these trips. Thanks, Mom!
This time I’m off to Bali and Java. I’ve had my typhoid shot and filled my malaria prescription. Now lets hope all the physical therapy I’ve been doing will pay off when it’s time to climb into a rickshaw.
While I’m away, I’ll be posting Suzie’s House regularly because I got a bright idea and wrote a bunch of episodes ahead of time. Other than that, I’ll only be posting as I have time, energy, and WiFi. Of course I will come to visit everyone who leaves a comment every time I hit a hot spot.
When I get back at the end of August I’ll tell you all about it. In the meanwhile, here’s a quick recap of vacations I’ve annoyed you with in the past.
2014: Canada – BC, Alberta, and Vancouver
Suzie’s House 418 : Talent
Justin drifted out of the living room where most of his aunts and some cousins and his mother were planning a baby shower. He passed the den where most of his uncles sat in front of the TV watching a football game in re-runs and acting like they’d never seen it before.
Someone in the kitchen started tapping out a rhythm with a spoon on a bottle. Justin just naturally drifted that direction. Sure enough Cousin Joe had a beer bottle in one hand and a spoon in the other.
AFK
It’s official. I’m not here now.
Since I’m writing this ahead of time, I can’t really tell you where I am. According to the itinerary, I should be in Jakarta. Unless I’m reading it wrong. Seems to me there should be a crossing of the dateline in there somewhere. I could probably figure it out, but then I could be wrong because of the volcanoes.
Apparently they’ve been erupting lately. It’s not exactly an uncommon occurrence for them as the whole island chain is filled with volcanoes. What’s different is that one of the plume clouds has been drifting across four different airports, effectively shutting them down. Something about ash in the engines doesn’t go over well with airplanes.
We are going forward as planned, but I might get stuck in Taiwan for a while. I’ll let you know next chance I get.
Suzie’s House 417 : Same Old Tedious Breakfast
Kate was sitting in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal in front of her when the text message came from Alisha.
‘You are still in that band?’
“Well, duh,” Kate muttered. You’d think her friend would have been more impressed by the fact she had a boyfriend, or that the flowers were a wedding bouquet. It wasn’t like Alisha hadn’t already heard about the band.
Straps Are Totally Cool
Seriously. Get a load of this sucker. A little inch and a half width strap held down what felt like a ton of scaffolding. I was more worried about the whole dang truck flipping over on the curves than the straps coming loose.
I’ve seen these puppies around before. I even inherited one from some passing hippie, but never knew how they worked. I mean, I could tell there was a ratcheting thing going on and it isn’t hard to figure out the hooks, but witch way to the bands feed into the ratchet mechanism?
The answer – from the outside of the angle to the inside through the slit that you can line up by working the mechanism a crank or two. To release you open the mechanism until it won’t go anymore, then press up on the switch on the inside and push it flat. Then just pull the whole mechanism toward you and the double fold of ribbon unwinds.
It’s almost as easy as a bungee, and even more secure than rope. A set of four set me back about $16. They’ve already paid their weight in gold. What’s more, I have plenty more loads of junk to haul with them.
If you ever plan to take a load of something any distance, I recommend stopping in at a hardware store and pickup up a couple.
Windy
“What a great building. Is there a spiritual reason for the six sides?” Jane stumped through the meeting hall with her foldable cane clacking along at high speeds for a retiree.
“No. There are six sides because…” The tour guide half-ran, half-walked, trying to head her off so the rest of the group could catch up.
“I’ll bet it was a political thing. Right? Someone rich and powerful chose the design?” Jane spun around, looking straight up at the ceiling as though viewing the rotunda of a state capital building.
“No. It’s because this was the only design the wind didn’t blow down during hurricane season.”
The Hub: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Photo credit: Dee Lovering
Kid Quotes
1. The Girl: I’m allergic to sewing. I break out in stress.
2. The Girl (Walks up with cat): Organic purr machine.
3. The Girl: Literary works are such downers. Unless it’s Shakespeare. Then it’s satirical and horrifying.
4. The Girl: Mainstream culture is only mainstream because it’s convenient for a lot of people.
Suzie’s House 416 : Bouquet II
When Kate woke up, the first thing she saw was the bouquet Justin had given her. It sat on her dresser in a cheap, metallic vase that looked like it was supposed to be polished silver but was probably aluminum. Not exactly the optimal thing for a wedding bouquet, but better than the glass of water she’d started with.
Signs
If you squint at the picture above you can see a brown sign to the left of the fire danger sign that has an arrow pointing to the right. It’s supposed to be a trail head marker. But it’s pointing at a wall.
