Crispy Fried
Your intrepid FanLitter is not the only thing getting a little crispy in this household. In honor of my blog title – the Restaurant part – I thought I’d mix it up a little with a recipe.
Straight off the Panda Brand package of Egg Roll Wraps, the Egg Roll Recipe as originally intended:
Do I actually follow the recipe? Bwaaaahaaahaaahaaaahaahaaahaaaa!!!!!
So far as I’m concerned it’s all about substitution.
For instance, we never have wine or sherry in the house. I have simply skipped over it and come out with egg rolls that were perfectly edible. I have also substituted a glug from the bottle of rum under my desk and found it tasted great. Shrimp makes a good substitution and cooks up fast if you get the frozen/precleaned variety. Over half the time I totally forget about the cornstarch. No one has noticed yet. And the addition of about a tsp. of oyster sauce works pretty well. If you can marinade the pork or beef, it tastes better, but I don’t always know I’m going to be cooking egg rolls until I’ve already got the wok on the stove and the Cuisinart revved. For the veggies I like to use the leaves of the celery along with the stalk, as it gives it a bit more flavor. For the meat I’m finding chopped goes over better than shredded. Not that the recipe says anything about it, just that I do.
I’ve only been messing around with egg rolls for a few months now. Until I decided to give the recipe on the back of the package a try I was too intimidated. Now I do them every few weeks. It isn’t hard, but it can take a while, so pull the wok out at least an hour before you plan to serve. It you haven’t got a wok, I’m betting a deep fat fryer would work just fine.
Bon Appetit!
Alice
It Aint Fun If It Aint Fair
Did I know what I was getting into when I first singed up? Not entirely. I could see the conflict of interest, but didn’t realize it would be as much of a problem as it proved. And I trusted FanLit to take responsibility for enforcing their own rules. That would have made a huge difference in the playing experience.
If I hadn’t already realized it was just a publicity stunt, plenty of people I tried to invite in the first round made it clear to me. I know a fair number of good writers who simply bowed out without making a single entry because of it.
I’m spending way too much time on it, have agonized over it, have NOT favorably impressed any editor, and don’t even get to keep my copyrights!
I have been asked by a fair number of people why I started, why I’ve stuck with it, and when I’m going to come to my senses. But then I’ve been asked the same questions about writing. I don’t have a good answers in either case.
But I do know this. If I’m going to do it – either writing or FanLit – I shouldn’t be halfhearted about it. I’m not going to have nearly as much fun if I don’t ignore the bandits and simply go for it.
Regardless of how it’s run, I’ve learned a few things, made some excellent friends, and wrote some stuff that I like. For now, that’s good enough for me.
Alice
My Dream FanLit
Clearly I’m addicted. But that doesn’t mean I can’t see ways to improve FanLit.
The way I see it, the biggest problem with FanLit is human nature, and the fact the system doesn’t compensate for it. The voting pool has become what Garrett Hardin called “the commons”.
On one hand we see noble people proving Hardin wrong by rising above it. But more often we see everyone suffering from .5 bandits, 0 bombers, and meaningless 5’s. This is because we all have a vested interest in seeing everyone else NOT do well. What an unhealthy set up.
What we need is people doing the rankings who have nothing to gain by giving low scores and nothing to lose by giving good ones. If we had enough people reading because they like to read and rank but who hadn’t entered anything, we would get a much truer picture of how good our entries are. But the only ones willing to wade through all the stuff that doesn’t interest them are our fellow writers.
Avon should have offered a prize for non-writing voters. It should have been as nice as the package offered to the winning entry.
Of course it would be hard to determine who should be the winning voter, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. The winning voter would have to 1] do the most rankings. 2] show a reasonable statistical probability in the range of her rankings 3] give rankings in line with what other people give and 4] have picked at least one of the top 10 while in the preliminaries. If a tie breaker were needed then who picked the ultimate winner could be considered or who produced a top 10 list that most closely resembles the ultimate rankings.
Bringing in voters who don’t suffer a conflict of interest is only a first step. Strictly speaking, those who entered a particular round shouldn’t be allowed to rank at all. If you have enough people going for the reader prize, that shouldn’t be a problem.
Conflict of interest goes beyond those who have actually entered. Friends and family might also be contributing to the unfairness of this contest. But not all friends and family are going around trying to hurt competitors while giving 5s to their darlings. I think the solution there would be to keep track of HOW each voter does rankings. Anyone whose rankings are only ever below a 1 and/or above 4.5 should have their rankings removed from all tallies. Simply don’t let their votes count. Whether the pattern of voting comes from those who are cheating, those who are ridiculously biased, or those with bizarre tastes, they have no place in FanLit.
I also think the way the entries is presented is causing problems. Everyone I’ve talked to about it finds having one entry presented to them at a time has a negative, eye-glazing effect. Instead, I think an entire batch should be presented the same way the finals are now being presented: all the promos visible at the same time.
This would negate the skip feature, but so what? Final ranking would be based on how many people clicked to view as well as average score given. To compensate for those who have lousy promos, randomly drawn entries could be given a featured position and voters encouraged to comment on the entry.
All entries should be available for ranking through a search feature during the course of the preliminaries so that those who have become interested in a particular title due to comments in the forum can quickly find the entry in question.
By letting readers pick and choose what they want to read, we would more closely match the book store experience. I believe doing so would encourage more reading, and a more positive attitude toward each entry a reader chooses to view.
Back to scoring, I cannot stress how important transparency is! Everyone should be able to take the numbers provided by FanLit and calculate for themselves what their ranking is. Let there be NO woo-woo involved. Go head and feed our obsessive tendencies. We are much easier to live with when we can assure ourselves over and over that what we are getting really is what we deserve. The average should be available to all writers through My FanLit at all times. Not just the last score given, although that should remain available as averages hide fives and ones.
Ok, this is the tip of the iceberg here, but I’ve gone on long enough. Thanks for letting me unload.
Alice
Dirty Rotten Cheaters
Ok, this is just eating me up alive. It kills me to know that at least two of the people I have been hanging out with on the FanLit boards are stabbing me in the back with their sock puppet accounts.
If any of them is reading this blog I have but one thing to say to you. Damn you! May you join me in this purgatory where so much that was once bright and beautiful becomes meaningless. May your successes turn on you like a snake in the hand. May you come to realize how puny and insignificant all your efforts are.
But it isn’t the cheaters that bother me the most. It’s the way the contest is set up.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m well aware that the fact it exists at all is a modern miracle. I get a major kick out of all the complements … um… I mean comments that people make on my stuff. I love the smoozing on the boards and checking out what wild and wonderful ideas my fellow entrants have come up with.
But you’ve got to admit the way it is set up at the moment is bound to bring out the worst in us. Every good score you give someone else is a potential outranking of your own work, so there’s a strong incentive to score low. There are hardly any people left who are only readers, so the politics of playing nice with the other writers becomes intense, which can lead to false compliments. And despite what FanLit says, there’s a strong tendency for entries posted earlier to rank better, because they have more chances to come up during times when more people are interested in reading.
So of course I’ve been imagining how I would do it if it were up to me. I’ll post my ideas tomorrow.
Alice
Step 1: Admit You Have A Problem.
I think the only thing that could keep me from entering again will be the ending of the contest. This in spite of knowing I can’t win, that the game is rigged, that cheaters run rampant, and that I really do have better things to do.
I started to write a parody, then decided not to finish when I realized how many bridges it would have burned. I pumped out an entry with no soul and am watching it sink even lower than my normal fair. I have no intention of rescuing it.
Even at this very moment, with the kids demanding attention and my dh off on a new job that has him as scarce as hen’s teeth I’m plotting my next attempt, wondering if I can actually make if funny when I’m so angry.
Hey, it’s a challenge. I’m not good at backing down from a challenge.
Alice
12 Step Program for FanLitters.
Obviously we need it. Why not set it up here?
I’ll go first. I’m Alice Audrey, and I am addicted to FanLit. My last post on the FanLit board was a couple of minutes ago, and I fear the next will be right after I post here. I know the addiction has had a terrible impact on my life, from the introduction of Pizza and TV Dinners into my children’s diets to the complete hault of work on my WIP. I resolve to get a life, even before FanLit is over.
Yeh, sure. Right after this weekend.
Alice
What do I want in a winning chapter?
This was a question asked on the Chapter 4 forum. Why not answer it?
First and foremost I look for a good read. Unluckily, I’ve become extraordinarily picky in the last few years. For me a good read is one that draws me into a satisfying story in spite of my inclination to notice any and every possible flaw from narrative intrusion to poor word choice. Anything that can get me past the reader’s barrier will work for darn near anyone.
Or so I thought. Yet my top picks aren’t showing up on other people’s lists. They do, however, tend to show up in the top 10.
A matter of taste? Maybe.
Alice
Critique for FanLit Entries
An awful lot of the time I wish I could use critiquer’s shorthand on the entry comments. It would be so much easier to say “white room syndrome” or “talking heads” or “headhopping”. Especially when you have so few characters in which to say it.
For those of you – Hi Raven! – not on FanLit, I’m not talking the kind of characters who live and breath in my head. I’m talking about individual letters and numbers. We have a total of 500 of them in which to do a critique.
So it isn’t possible to be really helpful. There isn’t enough room in which to describe which sentences make no sense at all, or why Damien is coming off looking like a troll. With some critiquer’s shorthand, it might.
But How many of our fellow FanLitter’s would recognize GMC? How many are familiar with emotional arcs?
So I settle for comments like “Needs more detail” or “Needs more conflict” where I might otherwise say “Needs scene anchors and better dialogue tags along with clearer goals and more realistic motivation.” Better that than “Boring.” But then, the number of boring entries has dropped lately. So maybe all I really need anymore is “Good job!”
Alice
Tough Crowd
Either everyone has gotten a lot pickier, of my work has slid into suckiness. I’ll have you notice that I did NOT take the suck pledge because I don’t want to do anything that might even remotely cause me to write below my ability, be it ever so humble.
I can too be humble! Sometimes.
It looks like this round is going to have to be one of those times. No “wow”s for Alice today. Humble pie, anyone?
Alice
What's Your Writing Process?
I love talking about writing process. It’s always interesting to hear how others suffer or talk about my own suffering. So lets talk about how you go about your entries.
I know one writer who likes to think about it a while, then write it all out fast.
Last time I did it three ways. I whipped out Of Cats and Canaries in the first three hours and posted with barely a proofreading. I stewed over it that night and the next day pecked out Knock Knock. I then let Knock Knock sit and stewed some more. Friday morning saw me fixing all kinds of stuff in Knock Knock then whipping out Pride of Place with barely half an hour to go when I submitted it and little more than a spell check.
And all three got nailed for poor plotting. Sigh.
The thing is, I don’t think it was poor plotting so much as poor characterization that messed me up. So next time I’m going to try and focus on characters, but still try to get one out fast, one out thoughtfully, and one out any way I can.
What’s your process?
Alice
Oh hey, I thought up a quote today. How does this sound:
Writing is like juggling 15 items, including two with sharp edges, three that are gooey, and one that is alive, all with an invisible partner.
Turn My Head, Why Don't You
You guys over at FanLib are spoiling me. In fact everyone everywhere – except my mother – has been spoiling me rotten with compliments. This in spite of my low scores. I’ll tell you, it makes a big difference in my willingness to keep doing this contest.
My favorite, of course, is “Wow”. I mean the good kind, like “Wow this is good” rather than the “Wow, what the heck do you think you are doing?” or “Wow, was that awful.” Which I used to get a lot of about 20 years ago. Don’t ask.
In the last month I have collected half a dozen “Wow”s. Most of them were for a particular chapter in ‘Zackly Right that I submitted to my critique group. [Thanks FTH criters!] But I have had one or two in the FanLit submissions. And today I got one in the email. [Thanks Sally!]
I’ve always wanted to “Wow” someone. Looks like I’ve managed to do it more than once. Cool.
Let’s see if I can do it again! *evil grin*
Alice
Making Comments
I’m lousy at comments. I don’t mean to be, honest, but I’m just not as bright and smart, and supportive as I ought to be. And somewhere along the way I just know I’m going to put my foot in my mouth.
In fact, I already have. I said things in the comments that got quoted in the forum as a bad example, though I don’t think I’ve made it into the Hall of Fame yet. Well, maybe. I haven’t had the nerve to look. I know I must be pissing people off, for which I am truly sorry. But I can’t promise not to do it again. It is simply beyond me to put “Great job” or some variation of it on every entry.
Why? Because if I start to do that I’m going to start thinking everyone is laughing at me behind my back. You’re supposed to laugh in my face, darn it! With, not at, you know.
Oh well. It’s not like I haven’t messed up a bunch of other things already. I can’t handle PM’s at all. Poor Avon has gotten so many replies from me because I overlooked the link and half the time when I DO realize it’s a PM and not an email it’s already timed out. I’m not real good about trying to follow up when that happens.
I constantly screw up my invites. I get them out late and hit some people with too many and overlook others who actually want them, get names wrong, and just totally mess them up. At least I TRY to do them all.
And talk about invites! I think I must have gotten 40 of them total this round. Of course most of them came at the same time, right after the round ended. I’m afraid next round I’m going to have to take the eddress off my sig line.
Ok. Enough lamentation. Time to get back to ranking.
Alice
Blog Blog Blog Blog Blog
By that I mean blah blah blah. It seems I have gone overboard on the blog thing. I have had ideas sprouting up all over the place. Considering how much time FanLit takes (Yes, that again) not to mention other things going on in my life – like work, kids, and having the critique group get suddenly very busy just as I become Critique Wizard – I don’t have time for all the blogs I’ve thought up. Bummer.
I’m going to try to make them a little shorter anyway.
First, I have decided to stop trying to win. Or even place well. I was really spoiled up until this round because I would see 5’s pop up regularly on everything I’ve submitted so far. But the .5 and 0 bandits more than made up for it so that the best I ever did was 49th. And I really liked Tempting Damien. Sigh. This time the best I seem to be able to come up with is Of Cats And Canaries, which doesn’t have enough substance. Although I will say in Canaries’ defense that conflict could easily be made in chapter 4 over whether or not they love one another.
On top of this my dh decided to play too! As if it wasn’t hard enough to get on the phonline before…. If you happen across the one with a sniper Snydney, please leave a comment. It’s the first time he has ever shared his writing with anyone.
I’m discovering things about my process and personality. Some of it even good! *grin*. One of those things is that I simply don’t compete well. I now officially give myself permission to simply have fun.
Alice
ps. Hi Sienna.
Promos
I’m simply not getting the invites like I did the last round. Or maybe it’s still early and I have gotten into reading the entries sooner this time, having put one out in the first few hours. Regardless, I find myself short on reading material. I’m actually using the vote button. *Shudder? No – sigh.*
So I’m paying attention to promos again.
Knowing me it’s not surprising that I would find a bunch of things to say about promos.
First, way too many people are trying to hide what their entry is about in their promos. They end up rephrasing the assignment instead, which isn’t going to lure me in. Unless the entire entry is a rehash of the assignment, in which case I should thank them for a promo that kept me away.
Alternately they might pose a bunch of questions. One or two questions, especially if there is something odd, silly, or sublime about them, will draw me in but a bunch make my eyes glaze. Worse are the questions that merely rephrase of the assignment, as they manage to be boring and irritating at the same time.
There’s a fair amount of melodrama in the promos. Those I figure are simply not going to be to my taste, so I don’t feel bad about skipping them.
Quoting from the love scene isn’t likely to draw me in because you can’t get me hot and bothered in 250 characters. I just makes me think you’re jumping the gun.
So what do I like in a promo?
I like to see something different than you would find in any other entry. Mention of a purple statue of a cat maybe, or a gay Snydley would do it. That alone MIGHT draw me in, but that and some indication that there is actually a point to be made is even better. So, a gay Snydley who develops a tendre for Damien and turns up in their home looking for love? I’m there. A purple cat that moves just when Damien thinks he’s caught Patience in the act? You bet! A secret door in the library – darn, it sucked me in and I don’t even like the theft theme.
Yes, I’m hard to please, but I’ll bet some of the people voting on this are even harder.
Alice
