Childless Romance

Romance is all about pair bonding.  Seriously, the entire genre is built around the stage in the life of a man and a woman when they overcome what ever might be preventing them from finding a mate, and forming an attachment to one another.  The attachment is presumed to be permanent, or the story is considered inferior from a genre perspective.

From an evolutionary perspective pair bonding is all about reproduction.  So far as the species is concerned the whole point of all that sexual activity is the continuation of the genetic material of the male and female involved, and the relationship is designed by nature to nurture the children that result.  Presumably individuals with strong families are more likely to live long enough to pass on their genetic material.

So when I pick up a Romance novel I have an eye on the hows and whys of the formation of a strong family unit which will include a man, a woman, and eventually at least one child.  Yet I have no problem with the ending of Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie.  It’s not because I am a fan of zero population growth either.

When I pick up a Romance I’m not approaching it with the intellectuality of someone reading a how-to manual.  I’m looking for the feelings involved in the pair bonding experience.  Finding someone who would help make beautiful babies is certainly part of it, but the creation of a condition of love and support is much more important.  Ms Crusie achieves it in spades, particularly in Bet Me.

I have read other books in which a condition of love and support is created yet the lack of future children strikes a wrong note.  I think in the case of Bet Me it has to do with the theme of self acceptance which runs so strong throughout the book.  Also, the resolution shows how this couple can have fulfilling lives without children through their association with the secondary characters.

I’m only scratching the surface on this issue, but if I start to take it any further it’ll be several pages before I let you go.  So I’ll call it quits here for now and take it up again on a later date.

Alice

Share

Out To Lunch

I’m in my writing cave today.  With any luck I will force myself past a really stupid blockage and be sociable gain later today.

Alice

Share

Suzie’s House 9: Dinner!

Drawn by the smell of Italian food – garlic and tomato and bell pepper – Drew drifted into the kitchen.  That afternoon Suzie had said the hamburger in the glorified crock pot would be supper.  He guessed she’d turned it into spaghetti and meatballs. 

She stood at the sink, spilling the contents of a stockpot into a strainer.  Spaghetti.  Bingo.  But where were the meat balls? 

Though her arms held steady, they were trim enough to make her look delicate, matching the gently curved, slim body.  Her cotton dress with the small flower print lent even greater vulnerability to her appearance.  He could see she wasn’t helpless, yet found himself compelled to rescue her from the weight of the large pot. 

“Here.  Let me help.”  He took the stockpot from her hands.  Too late.  She’d already dumped out all the water.  He ended up foolishly holding an empty pot.  Some big hero he made. 

“Put it in the dishwasher.”  She waved a hand toward the appliance without looking up from the sink.  With quick, efficient movements she transferred the spaghetti noodles from the strainer to a bowl.  “We can run a load right after supper.  We’ll be eating in a few minutes.  Would you mind calling the others to the dining room?” 

“Certainly.”  He upended the stock pot, which just barely fit in the dishwasher, it’s bottom scraping against the top shelf.  Then he walked through the central hall of the house to the base of the stair case and bellowed “Dinner!” 

When that got no response, he started calling names until people appeared.  Suzie popped her head around the corner to look down the hall with a strange expression on her face.  She didn’t really expect him to tramp up the stairs and issue a personal invitation to each person, did she?  If so, she didn’t say anything, merely popped back around the corner. 

They all tramped into the dining room through the door at the base of the staircase.  It looked like Suzie was expecting a dinner party.  There was an antique, mahogany dinner table in the middle of the room set with a light yellow cloth, Suzie’s second best china, linen napkins, and bowls of food.  There was a lot of space around the table, so he was sure she’d removed a few leaves from it.  The chairs were all mahogany carved to match the table.  He felt under dressed in his blue work shirt and slacks. 

Funny, she didn’t seem the least frazzled now.  She had seemed stressed out at lunch time when everything had been much more casual.  You’d think having gone to so much effort would have her on edge.  It looked like the food was going to be better, though the soup hadn’t been bad.  It certainly smelled good. 

Suzie set a salad down on the table, then waved toward the chairs placed around the table.  “Be seated.”  She took the foot of the table, which was closest to the kitchen. 

He and Vin went around to the far side of the table while Miranda and Ben took the other, all leaving the head of the table empty.  Within minutes the only sound to be heard with the click of silverware on china, the gentle thud of glasses hitting the table, and the occasional slurps or the contended smacking of a well fed guest. 

Which was wrong.  All wrong.  They weren’t guests.  They were boarders.  They should be getting boiled cabbage and yelled at to pay the rent by a hatchet faced landlady.  Not fêted by a beauty. 

“This is more like it,”  Miranda said.  “Much better than lunch.  So what’s for lunch tomorrow?” 

“You’re planning on lunch tomorrow?”  Suzie looked at a loss.  “Isn’t it easier to eat at work?  I suppose I could put together a sack lunch.”  She didn’t look the least enthusiastic with the idea. 

“Sure.  Can you get a nice lunch box for me?  I don’t want to brown bag it.” 

Suzie’s eyes narrowed.  “You know, I never once said meals were included.” 

“Well of course they are included.  Why wouldn’t they be?”  Miranda looked completely perplexed, clearly seeing no problem with lumping the job on her friend’s shoulders. 

“Because it’s a lot of extra work,”  Drew said reasonably. 

“Well…  No…”  Suzie countered him.  “I mean I’d be cooking dinners for Ben anyway.  Half the time Miranda drops in and Vin too sometimes.  So it’s only a matter of making more of it.  But…”  They all waited with baited breath for her to explain herself.  “I’m not that good!” 

Vin and Miranda looked surprised, then both burst out laughing. 

“The woman wins bake off competitions constantly.  She puts head chef at The Fess to shame.  No one is a better cook.” 

“Not all the time!  What if I flop?  Remember the egg plant and celery medley?” 

Miranda nodded gravely.  “That was awful.  But so what?  It’s not like we haven’t eaten your flops before.” 

“But that was before, when you weren’t paying me for it.  Now I have to be professional about it.  I just don’t know if I can do that.” 

Drew considered for a while.  “I have a suggestion.  I think Suzie should only be expected to make supper.  For every other meal we fend for ourselves.  And each of us will take one day a week in which we will be the cook.” 

Suzie looked at Miranda and shuddered. 

Miranda took no notice.  “All right, but she cooks both lunch and dinner on Saturday and Sunday.” 

“Unless she has other plans.  It isn’t fair to tie her so tightly to the house that she never gets to go out or have any fun.”  Drew looked around the table to see if he was making his point. 

“He’s got you there, Miranda,”  Vin put in.  “Sounds fair to me.” 

“Suzie?  What do you think?”  Drew asked. 

Almost grudgingly Suzie nodded.  “All right.  So long as no one complains when I cook something they don’t like.” 

“Aww, Mom,”  Ben said.  “You take all the fun out of eating.” 

“You’re on Tuesday, boy.”  Suzie pointed a spoon at her son. 

Miranda and Vin started arguing over which of them would get Wednesday.  While they were distracted Suzie gave Drew a wan smile. 

“Thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“Standing up for me.” 

Drew nodded warmly and smiled.  He suspected Suzie would need a champion in the days ahead.  His smile broadened. 

<>

The previous was Suzie’s House 8: If You Can’t Stand The Heat, What Are You Doing In The Kitchen
This is Suzie’s House 9:  Dinner!
Next is Suzie’s House 10: Rub A Dub Dub

Share

And the Winner Is…

Cindy!

Not only did Cindy take first place in the second round of FanLit Forever’s Challenge Three, she also placed both of her other two entries in the top five.

Take a bow Cindy.  A most impressive accomplishement

Alice

Share

Kid Quote

Talk about kids being cute, by son came into my office and gave me a great big hug the other day.  He does this a lot so I probably shouldn’t have raised an eyebrow, but something about the words he muttered caught my attention.  So I asked him what that was all about.  His answer?

“You’re the only one who squishes to my liking.”

Awwwww.  No comments about what makes me squishy, all right?

Alice

Share

What You Get When You Ask One Too Many Times

This never actually happened to me, but boy it sure could have. 

Alice

 *Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, “No.” I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?” “No,” he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, “Danny, did you have an accident?” This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled.
“SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!” While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An older couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had! 

Share

Suzie's Hamburger Spagetti Sauce

Suzie didn’t put the whole can of tomato sauce in last Friday, so it wasn’t quite as saucy and she added some black olives. 

For Cindy’s Atomic Chili check the recipe thread in the General Discussion forum of FanLit Forever.  The link to FanLit Forever is in the bar to the right.

.
3 pounds of hamburger
1 #10 can of tomato sauce
3 fresh tomatoes
2 medium sized yellow onions, chopped.
1 bell pepper, chopped
2 T. oregano
2 T. garlic
1 tsp. basil
1 T. sugar

Crumble hamburger into a large slow cooker.  Stir/turn once every 15 minutes or so until brown.  Add all remaining ingredients.  Leave for 2 to 4 hours.  Divide into Pyrex storage containers and freeze about 3/4ths of the sauce.  Serve remainder. 

Bon Appetite

.

Alice

Share

FanLit Forever Voting Closes Today

Challenge 3 Round 2 ranking polls close today at noon.  It is still possible to make comments after the polls close, but you must ge your votes in now.

Mama Alice.

Share

Girl Scout Cookies

We got our Girl Scout cookies seconds ago.  Of course the first thing I did was rip the box open and start stuffing my mouth.

I have just one question.  Were these things tastier WITH the trans fats?  I can’t decide

Alice

Share

Suzie’s House 8: If You Can’t Stand The Heat, What Are You Doing In The Kitchen

Suzie put two pounds of hamburger in the slow cooker, thought again, and added another pound.  With any luck the spaghetti sauce she made today would last a couple of meals, buying her enough time in which to figure out what sort of food she should be making. 

.

Glancing at the clock, she decided to make refrigerator soup for her lunch.  She could do it quickly, which agreed with her stomach as it was already well past noon.  With Ben at school, Miranda at work, and both Vin and Drew off somewhere she assumed she could simply throw it together to suit herself. 

.

Hmmm…  left over baked cod, meat loaf, baked potatoes, the ever present frijoles beans, a little chili con carne, and a wilting salad.  All right, not the kind of combination she normally enjoyed, but sometimes these odd combinations came out well.  She threw them all in a medium sauce pan and brought it to a boil.

.

 “What’s for lunch?”  Miranda walked in the back door. 

.Suzie startled, then remembered that Miranda had a right to walk in without knocking.  It wasn’t really so different from walking in after Suzie called out for her to enter, but it still caught her off guard.

.

 “I thought you went to work.” 

.

“I did.  I’m home for lunch.  What ya got for me?”  Miranda dumped her purse on the counter. 

.

She wore a gypsy outfit today – peasant blouse in crushed red cotton with a neckline so scooped it was almost off the shoulder, a broomstick skirt with lots of reds, blues, and golds, and a wide black belt.  She walked over to the stove, and took a deep sniff.  She wrinkled her nose. 

.

“That’s for me,”  Suzie hastily assured her. .

“I don’t see anything else.”  Miranda looked truly baffled as she checked in the oven. 

.

“I didn’t think I’d have to fix lunch.  You’ve never come over for lunch before.” 

.

“Well of course I’ll be coming home for lunch now.  You fix the best food in town.”  She spoke with calm assurance, but gave the soup a dubious look. 

.

“I’ll see what I can come up with.”  Suzie went back into the refrigerator, regretting that she’d used up the left overs for the soup.  The meatloaf could have been turned into a sandwich or something. 

.

Catching sight of the jar of crushed garlic, she decided to go with garlic bread instead.  Luckily she still had a loaf of French bread from the day before.  She pulled out the garlic, some butter, and an earthen ware bowl, and began crushing the garlic into the butter. 

.

While she worked, Miranda launched into a detailed story involving the unreasonable expectations of a new client at the advertisement agency where Miranda worked.  It was something involving billboards and radio spots that Suzie didn’t quite follow.  But she certainly understood unreasonable expectations and the inability to say no. 

.

It wasn’t merely the money Suzie needed either.  Although Suzie could put her foot down when she felt the need, she really preferred to get along with people.  Or even please them. 

.

One thing about Miranda, when you pleased her she let you know.  And if you didn’t she’d tell you that too, so you knew when she complimented you, it was sincere. 

.

“Gah!  What is in this stew?  It positively reeks!” .

“So it’s a good thing you don’t have to eat it.”  Suzie sniffed the stew, and had to agree it could use a little improvement.  She grabbed a bottle of Cajun seasoning, measured out a small mound of it into the palm of her hand, then tossed it in. 

.

While she washed the seasoning off her hand, the door to the kitchen slammed open.  Vin and Drew walked in.  Suzie’s blood pressure went up a notch or two. 

.

“Let me guess.  You told them to come home for lunch too?”  Suzie glared at Miranda 

.

“Not me.  Why would I have to?” 

.Suzie quickly cut thick slices of French bread, smeared garlic butter on, then popped the sliced into the toaster oven.  It wasn’t enough to feed them.  What else could she come up with on no notice at all? 

.

 “All right!  Our first meal together as a household,” Vin said as he sauntered over to Miranda. He had a sexy walk, a swinging, cock-of-the-walk sort of strut that went well with his boyish good looks.  Suzie had always admired the sheer sex appeal of the man, even if she didn’t necessarily fall under his spell the way some women did. 

.

He looked at the stew, wrinkled his nose and said,  “Smells… interesting.” .

Drew walked over to the slow cooker and lifted the lid. 

.

“That’s for tonight!”  Suzie intercepted him. 

.

The mostly still raw hamburger inside didn’t look very appetizing.  She gave it a turn so the meat would cook evenly and sighed in relief when Drew joined the others around the stove. 

.

More than anyone else in the room, Suzie didn’t want Drew to see her as a poor cook.  Miranda and Vin had both eaten good and bad food at her hand, but Drew didn’t know her yet.  She didn’t want him to think poorly of her. 

.

After putting the lid back on the slow cooker, Suzie rushed to the refrigerator for something more.  She found apples and oranges, which she quickly sliced and arranged on a small tray, hoping no one notice her air of desperation. 

.The phone rang while she was putting the next batch of buttered bread into the toaster oven. 

.

“Suzie!  It’s me, Cindy.  Can a borrow some Habanera sauce?  I’m burning down the house with Cindy’s Atomic Chili  and ran out.”  Burning down the house was Cindy’s way of saying she was cooking. 

.

Cindy lived in an apartment on the top floor of the building next door.  She was a writer known for her wild Paranormal Romances, gift for gab, and tendency to make up her own words and phrases.  Suzie always got a kick out of her.  But maybe not right this minute. 

.

“Cindy, I’m a little busy right now.”  Suzie glanced at the clock, then realized she needed to add tomatoes if she expected them to be done in time. 

.“It’s all right.  I’ll come over to get it.” 

.

“Sure.  Fine.  I have plenty of Habanera.  It’s time I lack.” 

.

Suzie glanced at the stove, and found all three of her boarders standing around the stove with bowls and plates in their hands.  She rushed forward to get them all settled around the kitchen table, came to the end of the phone cord, and was forced to retreat. 

.

“Suzie, do you have any splendiferous jalapeño?” 

.“No, sorry.  I’m out.” She watched Vin eat the last of the fruit plate she’d set out, then drop the dirty platter into the sink.

.

“All right.  Look, forget about the habanera sauce.  I have to go out and buy jalapeño anyway.” 

.

“Sorry,”  Suzie said.  She couldn’t quite reach the cutting board to make more garlic bread.  Tomorrow she was going to get a longer cord for the phone. 

.Drew set his bowl in the sink, followed shortly by Vin.  The two of them waved and nodded to Suzie as they went out the door.  Brushing crumbs off her peasant blouse, Miranda also waved as she left. 

.

“No need to apologize.  I’m making a big batch.  Are you making spaghetti?” 

.

“Oh!  The sauce!  I forgot.”  Suzie eyed the slow cooker,   If only she could add the tomatoes now.  Of course, she couldn’t reach it either. 

.

“Tell you what.  If you have any left over, we can swap.” 

.

“Great!  Thank you, I would love that!” 

.

“Bye then.”  Cindy hung up. 

.

Finally alone again, Suzie could sit down and eat.  She went to the pot to get some of the stew no one had liked.

It had all been eaten.

<>

The previous was Suzie’s House 7: There’s No Place Like Home
This is Suzie’s House 8: If You Can’t Stand The Heat, What Are You Doing In The Kitchen
Next is Suzie’s House 9:  Dinner!

Share

Why Is "Because I Like It" a Valid Point in Judging Fiction?

Per usual I am busy judging for an RWA contest and voting in FanLit Forever at the same time.  In Challenge 2 it was the Golden Heart.  This round it’s The Lauries hosted by From The Heart Romance Writers.   It really brings to mind some basic differences.

For one thing, the RWA contest try to counteract personal biases.  You are supposed to score based on the quality of the writing rather than whether or not you personally like it.

Tastes are so varied and unreliable.  It makes sense that some would say they have no place in judging the worthiness of a piece of fiction.  If we all rate fiction based on nothing more than how much we like it – or at least how compelled we are to read it – then some excellent writing will not receive the recognition it deserves.  To be fair, we must set aside our personal likes and dislikes.  True?

I don’t think so.

It’s hard to argue that some excellent writing will indeed suffer at the hands of judges if those judges can’t get beyond their prejudices.  But consider the purpose of fiction.

Fiction exists to engage our attention.  We aren’t talking quantum mechanics here, or even an Idiot’s Guide To whatever.  We are talking about something that SHOULD be designed to take us out of our everyday life and transport us through words to an experience we could not achieve in any other way.

Readers who don’t like what they are reading aren’t likely to read very far.  If they don’t read the whole book, why would the want to buy another by the same author?  Isn’t that what character and plot, and voice is all about?  There’s no point in focusing on any aspect of a book if it isn’t done with an eye to making the book as readable as possible.

Should how much a judge likes a story be the sol criteria for judging? No.  But it should probably be the biggest one.  And I notice that more and more contest are including “Would you recommend this book to a friend”,  “Would you like to read more of this book”, or “Is the book compelling” in their list of attributes to be scored.  I know it’s the first thing I look at when my contest results come in.

Alice

Share

Wanna Be and Gunna Be

Force of habit, I guess, but I find myself talking about writing a lot, even if there’s no round up.  *grin*

You all know what a wanna be is, right?  The first time I heard the phrase was in reference to white people attending a pow wow.  Some of them wanted to be Indian.  My half-breed friend didn’t think much of them.  So I always thought a wanna be was not something I ever wanted to be.

The first I’d heard of a gunna be was a few years ago on eHarlequin.  A gunna be was someone who didn’t just want to be a writer.  A gunna be was someone who may not be published yet, but was clearly on the way.

From where I’m standing, the difference between a writing wanna be and a gunna be was in whether or not someone was serious about writing.  By serious, I mean the person in question is doing more than think about it and/or talk about it.  A gunna be is writing.

After all, you can’t get published if you have nothing publishable written.

There are all kinds of ways to tell if someone is serious.  I’ve been serious about it all along, but I have been known to spend more time talking about it than doing it.  I think at those times I’m more of a wanna be than a gunna be.

RWA makes the distinction through their Pro program.  In order to prove you are gunna be, you have to have not only written a “complete” manuscript, you have to have submitted it to a publisher or an agent and received a reply.

For the most part I don’t think the distinction is important.  So long I remember to keep writing, and not just talk about it.

Alice

Share

Sleep Over

My son has had the same best friend since second grade.  They are now in sixth grade. 

Unluckily the friend hit puberty a little early and has turned into a raging teenager.  That’s all fine and well.  He’s a sweet kid and I don’t have to put up with the lip.  It had never occurred to me it would be a problem for my son.

The kid is driving my son nuts!  He’s trying to pressure him into getting heelies and certain Playstation games, and is all over the map emotionally, and wants to spend all weekend long with my son on a regular basis.

This is where the drama comes in.  Last weekend my son asked to have the friend stay over, a common occurrence, then asked that we fabricate a reason to send him home early the next day.  In the past we’ve let them have all weekend long so now the friend wants to know why he can’t simply stay.

I told my son I would simply tell him it was time to go home and that would be that.  As the time approached I realized that wouldn’t be that.  The boys are growing up.  The way I treat my son’s friends has to adjust too.  Doesn’t it?

Maybe not.  I ended up telling the friend it was time to go, and packing him off.  He went without a question.

Alice
 

Share

They Call Him Mr. Lucky

Check this out.  Some guy was driving along the highway and went off the road.  You can see the place he went off over on the right hand side of this picture.

Hitting the rail

The guy was seriously lucky.  I mean, He jumped a culvert and ended up close to the road.  His truck isn’t even all that smashed up, though it’ll need some work.  Get  a load of it.

Check out the bed of the truck

I don’t think you realize just how lucky this guy was.  Scroll down to see what I mean.

.

.

.

 Further

.

.

.

 Further

.

.

Can you see the bottom?

Alice

Share

Drumming

I play hand drums.

Conga, ashiko, djembe, djum djum <yes I know it’s not technically a hand drum>, I’ve even tried my hand at bongos, talking drum, water drums, baudran, and Native American style flat drums.  I’m not particularly proficient at any of them, but I know 6 hand positions for conga, three or four songs, and am reasonably comfortable with 6/8 time.  I can handle most drummer’s circles without embarrassing myself.

Drumming in a circle has a certain magic.  When you are in synch with the other drummers, playing a rhythm that makes sense with what others are playing but isn’t exactly the same as anyone else, the energy level goes up.  When I’m in synch, I can literally drum all day.  When I’m in synch I can loose my sense of self, trade it in on a sense of the divine and eternal and community.  When I’m out of synch the energy drains away fast.  I can be completely worn out in 10 minutes when the rhythms won’t pull together.  Out of synch, I come away from a drummer’s circle feeling isolated and unwelcome.

So what does this have to do with writing?

Both drumming and writing have something to do with energy flow.  Both are easily isolating activities that can be used to connect one to a sense of community.  Both are activities that those who aren’t engaged in can’t really understand.

This blog brought the connection to mind.  I tell myself I should work head, particularly in the Suzie blog.  Supposedly I could get a week’s worth of blogs out of the way in a day then simply post them at the appropriate time.

It doesn’t work that way for me.  I struggle to come up with something to say when I try to work ahead.  I can get bits and fragments of ideas done, but not finished posts.  When I am responding to what someone has said on another blog, or in FanLit Forever, or in my crit group, or one of my boards the words simply flow.

Like echoing or reinforcing someone else’s beat, writing my blog as I go draws me in and sustains me.

On the other hand, Suzie is a perpetual rough draft.  I can’t get the kind of distance from my own words that makes it easier to edit because I’m frequently coming up with the last of those words minutes before I post.  Some weeks I’m not even sure what I will write about when Friday arrives.  It’s performance art in a field where one of the greatest benefits is the time to fix your mistakes before anyone knows about them.

So when I come up with a lame Suzie, please forgive me.  I never know how it’s going to come out until it’s out.

Alice

Share