Thirteen Quotes from my Owner’s Manual
This is quite possibly the worst owners manual I’ve ever encountered. It isn’t merely “English as a second language.” It comes from a point of view I find frustrating at best. As my grandmother used to say, “If I didn’t laugh, I’d have to cry.” In the interest of sharing my pain, here’s a selection of what’s in the manual.
1.(From the very first page) This manual is one of the important accompanying documents. It would provide you accurate description for utilizing the vehicle safely and comfortably. inspecting it-rightly and reasonably.
2. “CAUTION” means the following information must be conformted-or else damage accident may happen.
3. length: 3998 mm. (Can they really be that accurate? Ever try measuring a car?)
4. Using the window crank to open and close each window. Turn the crank clockwise for moving the window down, the window is opened; ture conter for moving up, the window is closed. (Uh… yeah, thanks. I couldn’t have guessed.)
5. Be sure to tie your seat belt up during driving. (They explain how to buckle in detail in a different spot. It’s just like every other seat belt.)
6. The airbag must explode as soon as possible so that it can reduce injury.
7. To avoid harmfulness, when you operate the ignition switch, do not put hands through steering wheel. (Someone would actually do this?)
8. Indication lamps and roon lamps (I still haven’t figured this on out, but it seems to have something to do with the idiot lights.)
9. Seat belt waring lamp (This thing has even more spelling mistakes than my blog.)
10. Under the condition of engine over-heated, continue driving will spoil the engine seriously.
11. Avoid the status that there is no fuel in the tank.
12. (There’s a check list of things you are supposed to inspect every day that rivals an airplane pre-flight check. It includes things like check the oil, tires, and pedals)
13. If shrill noise is hesrd while step the brake pedal, mayb it is normal because of environwent like coldness, dampness, or snow weather.
Oh, yeah, and the dipstick that sent me to the manual in the first place because I couldn’t find it? Wasn’t listed anywhere. I found it by lifting off the drivers seat.
.
.
The vehicle in question is pictured here.
.
.
In order to get the permalink from this post you must both put your URL in the Mr. Linky thing and leave a comment
More Thursday Thirteen participants can be found here
And the hub is here.
As always, I welcome the link to your Thursday Thirteen in my comments as well as in Mr. Linky.
Journeywoman
Gattina
Gattina right link
Nessa
Paige Tyler
storyteller at SmallReflections
Dane Bramage
Celticlibrarian
Dancing in the Morning Sun
Calico Contemplations
By George! How to Rule from Bed
The year of 1829 marked both a high and low for his Majesty. While his health continued to deteriorate, his relations with his Ministers improved. At least after the contentious Catholic Relief Act was finally passed. But the improvement was quite gradual, and not all Ministers were treated equally. At Ascot he had “a whole party of Canningites in his house (box) and not one Minister. He gave a bad reception to all the friends of government who went to his stand, and said to Mr Peel that he should have as soon expected to see a pig in a church as him at a race! Mr Peel was invited to dine at the Lodge, but he pretended he had no clothes and refused to go.”
But he spoke highly of Wellington. “It would be difficult to find a man of such consummate integrity, possessing such straightforward, true political wisdom, or such unsullied principles that comprehend everything that is noble, everything that is great.” Wellington was aware of this change of attitude and grateful for it. He was always ready to praise the King for his good points. His charm and his willingness to see the good in most people. His intelligence and his ability to grasp the details of almost any problem, that is, if you could get him to pay attention in the first place.
94/365 Juxtaposition
I like the weirdness of this one. It’s just a regular office building with regular old cars parked in front, but night makes it kind of spooky.
Hide and Seek Memory
I’m gearing up to write a book about a woman who has amnesia.
Generally speaking, I don’t like to read books that include amnesia because writer’s tend to use it as a crutch, rather than exploring the nature of memory and the problems of those who can’t trust theirs.
Since my own memory tends to be a bit hap-hazard, I have a good idea where I want to go with this. Still, I would welcome your input.
Can you trust your memory? Completely? What sort of things are you most likely to forget? Does anyone ever look at you funny because you forgot something? What do you do to help yourself remember?
Real Vampires Don’t Diet and an Award
Congratulations Pam R! You are the winner.
Would you be interested in a copy of Real Vampires Don’t Diet by Gerry Bartlett?
It’s a fun, sexy story about what happens when a Rubenesque vampire lady and a rock star vampire man get cornered by an ugly siren.
If you’re interested, say so in the comments on this post some time between now and Friday. I’ll do a random drawing from those who would like it then announce the winner here on this post and on twitter Saturday. There’s a little domaflachy thingy on the sidebar where you can see my twitter comments without actually jointing twitter. It’s up near the top there.
.
.
.
.
.
Emily at Marvelous Recipes gave me this award. Thanks Emily! I love these things.
Neno’s Award—-Rules and Regulations
1. As a dedication for those who love blogging and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
2. To seek the reasons why we all love blogging.
3. Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
4. Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
5. Answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
6. Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
7. Don’t forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.
I’m not sure why I love blogging so much. I started out doing it because people who should know claimed all writers should do it. I, personally, don’t agree. I would have quit in the first month or two, but got addicted instead.
I’m giving this award to:
Happily Retired Gal, and Ancient One who encouraged me when I first started PhotoHunting.
Hootin Annie because she’s a hoot, especially around the holidays.
Emily of Randomability, Mrs. Mecomber, and R.J. Flamingo
Betty of Betty’s Books, just because I think she’s cool. And the same with Kaye at the road goes ever ever on.
Renee, who will always have a special place in my heart.
And Mr. Knowitall, the G man for pulling together one of the sweetest blogging communities out there.
91/365 The Results
Remember how I complained bitterly a few days ago about snow? Twice already this season. Well, here’s what comes of it. The frost was so hard some trees skipped the pretty stage completely. The leaves went straight from green to dead. It’s like they were cut down in the prime of their lives.
Fancy Microwaved Eggplant
1 eggplant
5 saltine crackers
1 egg
3 T milk
Cut eggplant in half. Microwave for 2-4 minutes, or until partly soft. Combine crackers, egg, and milk. Scoop out middle of eggplant. Add to mixture, including seeds and mix. Place half of mixture in to centers of each half of the eggplant. Microwave for 1-2 minutes until mixture sets. Salt to taste.
Jack and Jill, a Retrospective
This is my 81st Jack and Jill PhotoHunt. I’ve been doing it for just under two years. Jack and Jill have come a long way, but there are still things from the very start that are true today.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The very first Jack and Jill there was so much going on in the picture, with so many toys that you could hardly see them at all. Since then they have been front an center in most of the pictures.
The next week they scaled a filing cabinet to retrieve the paint to paint the house. The part of the house needing paint was up near the roof. Jack felt he needed a little beer to get himself ready. The results were all too predictable.
And why was he running through the hospital in his bandages? To get away from Jill, of course. She wasn’t all that gentle with him. But she couldn’t stay mad at a man as romantic as Jack. Even after he was well again they had trouble finding a new home (little old lady lived in a shoe?) and had to paint the inside of the house they are still, to this day, trying to sell.
Of course their pets had to get into the act. The cat is Gin. Once Jack saved Gin from a terrible fall. She then spent the next couple of weeks riding on Jack’s head. That could happen again, you know.
Then came the fateful day when someone mistakenly thought their dog, Tonic, was for sale. They got him back. Eventually. But Tonic was never quite the same again. Worse, he taught some of his new found skills to Gin.
Where they will go from here? Who knows? All I can say is it will have something to do with “tied.”
I hope you have enjoyed Jack and Jill’s antics, and will continue to do so.
Today’s theme is anything you want to do
Previously in Jack and Jill: a lot.
Saturday photo scavenger hunt
The rules for Photohunt can be found here.
Be sure to visit the home page.
Suzie’s House 135: A Word, If You Please
“Drew is leaving?” Miranda couldn’t believe it. She stared at Suzie then at Ben in turns. “Why on earth is he leaving?”
“Work,” Ben said morosely. He slumped over the kitchen table, one wrist wrapped over the top of his head.
Suzie nodded. “His job here was temporary. He’s been re-assigned.”
“Pft. As if that was reason enough.” Miranda didn’t wait for Suzie or Ben to respond. She marched upstairs to set Drew straight.
Lurking
Click on picture to go to hub.
.
.
.
Yeah, I see you lurking there,
Standing on the threshold as if
a broom might descend, sweeping you out with the spam.
Relax. I know how to tell friend from foe.
And I know you are only a tourist here.
So what?
Come on in and sit a spell.
Here, at least, you are welcome..
