Author Archives: aliceaudrey
Are You Beached?
I looked into the bathtub the other day, and what did I see? A natural disaster. Poor little toy boats all huddled by the drain, bereft of their water, abandoned to an uncaring fate, left behind. One glance and I knew exactly how they felt. When you see some inanimate object that could not possibly have any feeling at all, do you have a poignant moment anyway? Do you think it’s a good thing, or a bad thing?
Marilyn or Albert?
To see this in action you have to start with your nose right up to the screen, then step as far back as you can. One way your should see Marilyn Monroe, the other Albert Einstein. Now look around. Is anyone watching you?
Cheese Souffle
I got this recipe from my mother. She said: This is from Modern Encyclopedia of Cooking by Meta Given, published in 1955. I’ve made a few changes and paraphrased a few things. 1/4 c. butter 1/4 c. flour 3/4 c. salt dash cayenne or Tabaso dash of dry mustard 1 1/2 c. milk 1/2 lb. sharp Cheddar, grated 6 eggs, separated Have ready 2 qt casserole – do not grease. Preheat oven 300°F Melt butter over low heat, blend in […]
Serenade
Jill: Oh, Jack. That’s the nicest serenade you’ve ever played for me. Jack: Don’t patronize me, Jill. I can see Tonic has his paws over his ears. Jill: At least he isn’t trying to sing with you. Jack: Maybe it’s this guitar. I’ll bet I’d do better with the one in the garage. What do you think? Jill: That depends. Are there strings attached? Eeeeeek! Run, Tonic, run! I’ll bet we can reach the car before he gets down. Previously […]
Suzie’s House 83: Heavy Weighs the Crown
Previously in Suzie’s House, Ben was given an unfair F in class. He ran out of the classroom. Now Gene and Lisa, a straight A student, are going to the principal. Principal Greear had a meeting with the school board coming up in little over an hour when Lisa and her friends walked in. Between the problems with the copy machine, Gertie’s nagging about the back up in paperwork while he was at conference, and the refusal of the school […]
T13 42: Moving
1. Qwest couldn’t find “the box.” 2. Which means no phone. 3. Which means no dial up. 4. I wanted high-speed anyway. 5. Good bye Qwest! 6. The cable company doesn’t come in until Sept. 4th. 7. Yikes! 8. Hello library! 9. The library doesn’t like my uploads. 10. Hello cyber cafe! 11. There is no cyber café? In all of town? Yikes! 12. Hey wait. Sept 4th? Isn’t that today? 13. Yay! Hi everyone!!! TT Home Page Get the […]
By George! What Goes Around Comes Around.
During the course of the tempestuous relationship between Prince George and Princess Caroline, Lady Jersey has been a bone of contention. Let’s see how she comes out. Caroline had a small problem with the Prince’s document. By and large, it seemed to point to Princess Caroline as the source of all the rankles and disquiet. Needless to say, this was not her view. As if she wanted that bitch Lady Jersey in charge of her bedchamber! No. She could […]
Have You Ever Retraced Someone Else's Steps?
I went to step into the shower the other day and was confronted by this: Of course my first thought was “When did the shower stall get wounded?” No, really. That was my first thought. It didn’t last long. I skipped right over, “How did that get there,” and went straight to, “Can I make the boy take it off of there, cause I know he put it there, or am I going to have to do it?” I knew […]
Penut Butter and Jelly
What? Me, desperate? Just because I’m having trouble posting pictures, or getting my files together, and have all my recipes on my desktop when I’m forced to use the laptop…. Anyway, here it is. I’ve recently learned how to make the ultimate PBJ. Spread the penutbutter very thick on one side of the first piece of bread. Put the second piece of bread on the first without adding anything. Spread the jelly thick on the third piece of […]
Beautiful Day
Jill: Is that what I think it is? Jack: Looks like poop. Jill: In out bathtub?!! Jack: Smells like poop too. And not just here. Jill: OMG! It’s here too! What could have happened? Jack: Did you run a load of laundry? Jill: Yeeeeesssss…. Jack: There must be a clog in the main line. It backed up. Jill: Ewwwww!!! What are we going to do? Jill: Not on your life. Here, I’ll call someone. Jack: How’s it going? Jill: Awful! […]
Suzie’s House 82: Breaking Point – The First
Ben knew what to expect already, but he’d been real good about this paper. He checked his spelling twice and had Lisa help him with his grammar. The topic was “Write about something you care about.” He’d done that. Just once he wanted to get a good grade out of English. Mrs. D. took her sweet time handing out the papers. When she came even with his desk, she stopped. She stared at the top sheet in her pile for […]
Thursday 13 #41: Moving Into a Mobil Home
1. It isn’t easy to go from 2,500 square feet to 1,120 square feet. 2. When I run the dishwasher, soapy water backs into the sink. 3. When I run the laundry, poop backs into the tubs. 4. The neighbors are only a few feet away where they used to be yards away. 5. Good thing I like my neighbors. 6. Garbage collection is included in the lot rental. Yay! 7. I feel more self conscious about what I put […]
By George! Are They Really That Happy?
To all appearances, the mismatch between Prince George and Princess Caroline looked to have worked out. Appearances can be deceiving. Despite happy reports from Brighton, things were far from well by the time the new princess arrived. For one thing, the Prince had taken up with Lady Jersey again. This probably came as no surprise to those who knew the Prince best. It did not help matters at all that Caroline’s reaction to this was to heap verbal abuse on […]
Flickr
Several of you have commented on the Flickr widget on my sidebar. The thing about that widget is that it isn’t mine. None of the photos shown on that widget are mine. I don’t even have any kind of membership in Flickr. I simply clicked the little box offered by WordPress to get the generalized feed. I love the little Flickr widget. Most of the time. Lately, I haven’t been loving it quite so much. Sure, it spruces up the […]
Melt Down
I was planning on holding the next round of the Whisper Meme in August. Up until Friday, I thought I was going to do that. Friday everything fell apart. It started with a simple move, if moving can ever be said to be simple once you’ve acquired kids, furniture, and too many gerbils. To be absolutely sure I didn’t get caught in a bind, I had the phone company come in early to set the phone up in the new […]
